Pyroman's Journey to Social and Pick-up Mastery

FR HBTease - Damn, she definitely knows how to play the game. Challenge Accepted!

2011-11-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

Fancy Wine Restaurant – Hbtease

Was eating dinner w/ some guy friends and I see 2 hot girlscome in.

I see them and I stared in their direction. The girls were talking with the waiterlooking for a place to sit. It was apretty trendy wine bad and had filled up earlier. To my surprise they come over to my table.

Turns out I actually met the two at my friends’ table at aclub last week. Hmm. Maybe that’s why I was staring, they looked abit familiar to me. I actually didn’trecognize/remember them so HBtease had to reintroduce herself to me: whichmight have shown that I was actually a challenge and elevated my value with her.

The previous week we danced a bit and I felt some sexual tension between us butsoon after she danced with another one of her guy friends quite sexily aswell. So I was a bit confused. I’ve never really had friends that were party girls before. Can these girls just dance with any guy and then just turn it off without feeling itthemselves?

HBtease is a hot girl. I’m sure guys are clamoring over each other to get to her. She seems to go out every weekend and I’msure she physically teases lots of guys (sexually charged dancing, grinding,etc). She is clearly the dominant girlout of the pair. HBplain takes on a muchmore “nice” girl role following HBtease like a small child/puppy.

We say our salutations and they go off to the bar. My guy friends all pepper me with questionsand ask me to get them to come back. Icapitulate, and wave the girls to come sit with us: all from my seat. HBtease motions that they have another friendcoming and declines.

Coincidentally they end up getting seated right next to usanyway. Haha. I didn’t want to talk over myfriends to talk to the girls. So Idecided to text HBplain. I had hernumber from the week before.

Itexted her: “I forgot about our Chinese lesson :P”

Last week I remembered something about herbeing my Chinese tutor. I wanted to gauge her interest in me. So I playedit cool (didn’t look at her) and waited to see if she would respond back. I did watch out of the corner of my eye thatshe got the message, laughed, and looked over at me. But no reply back.

It looked like my friends wanted to talk to the prettygirls. So I tell HBtease to introduceherself to GuyA. I also got up and toldHBplain to introduce herself to GuyB. They chat for about 4 minutes.

After that we paid the bill and left to go a club.

Oh I also spotted one of my roommate’s friends a prettyFrench girl. So we chatted for a bit aswell. Too bad she’s not my type. :P

Despite a population of 23 million in Shanghai. I'm running into people I know left and right. lol.

Next night @ Club

The boys and I are chilling at the lobby table (Free!) and who do wesee? HBTease aaaand her new associate HBguava. We chat for a bit and HBTease asks me if Ihave a table. Oh I see what’s goingon. She’s doing that whole prettygirl+free drinks club thing. I tease herabout it. HBtease laughs and agrees.

The girls then leave and go on to look for a table.

Eventually I see her pass by again at the bar. We chat maybe for 30 seconds and she goes, butthis time she puts her hand out. I wasn’treally thinking at the moment and just grabbed her hand. She ends up pulling me 3 meters away and infront of a group of strangers HBtease starts this sexy dance on me. I don’t really dance, it’s easier to call itswaying. Girls usually just dance on me.

Eventually HBTease dances with back on myfront and I whisper in her ear, “You’re a such a tease….” I didn’t get to finish my statement (“and youlove it.”) because right after she finished dancing and left. Afterwards some of the random guys watchingus came up and congratulated me. Lame.

Some of my guy friends congratulate me for just approaching/talking torandom girls. I’m not sure why they doit, but that always makes me self-conscious.

These are some of my thoughts regarding HBTease:

I haven’t asked her for her number. I haven’t had any kind of connection (other than sexual tension, lightflirting) or got a chance to really connect on a deeper level. I feel that if I ask for her number, I willget it. However I will be placed in apool of all the other chumps chasing after her.

I think HBtease did that last dance to gain power over me, to tease me, toturn me on, and try to get me to chase her. I wonder why she decided to drag me away from my friends and dance infront of those strangers. Was it to tripme up? If that was the case itdefinitely worked. To put on a show forstrangers? My gut tells me to treadcarefully with this one.

FR #18 HBGaoKao - Elegant dresses at Night Clubs. You don't see that everyday!

2011-11-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

I spotted HBgaokao dancing with a guy. She was wearing a very elegant dress.

I watched their body language for a little bit. The guy was dancing awkwardly and with alittle distance from the her. I thoughtthat the guy might be an AFC, orbiter, or in the worse case a recent BF thatwasn’t too sure of him place in the relationship. So I took a calculated risk and approachedher. I can’t remember what I said. But I think I just complimented her on her elegantdress.

We started talking a bit and HBgaokao gavethe guy permission to leave. So I passedthat test. Turns out HBgaokao was just about to start college. Somehow we start dancingtogether and I pile on some deep eye contact which I learned from the AsianRake.

I’m a bit more confident in what I should be doing since the last time Ihad to dance with a girl. So I maintainsome distance, dance, and keep talking with her.

I don’t remember much of the conversation. But I definitely tried to ramp down the physicality and go more fora connection. I didn’t wantto sexualize the encounter too much. Otherwise she probably wouldn’t be keen to meet up for a date.

One thing I do remember her asking me was:

Her: Howdid you know he wasn’t my BF?

Me: Icould tell he wasn’t your BF. ß too bad I didn’t come up with something cool like – “Itdidn’t matter if he was your BF or not.”

Turns out the dude was gay. Shestarted to touch my face and shoulders a bit and in return I pulled her incloser to me. I looked deep into hereyes and told her “it feels like it’s just two of us here,” which I really didfeel. I asked HBgaokao if she felt thesame and she agreed. I pulled her chinup and got a quick kiss.

We danced a bit more. I started topull at HBgaokao’s hair and she pulled my hair in return. At one point she tells me “We’re justfriends.” I agree and go in for anotherkiss, which I get.

It didn’t seem like HBgaokao was willing to leave her friends. So I escorted her back to her table and leftto meet some other guys at another venue.

Had my standard date. On the way tothe coffee shop, HBgaokao mentioned she had a BF. I agreed with it and switched to anothertopic. Jaywalked quite a bit, so heldhands crossing the street and gave dropped HBgaokao’s hand once safely across.

In the coffee shop:

Look at my hand! Not really my hand...
just a random pic from google. lol

I do a cheesy palm reading. Isaid:

“I can see that you’re very lazy. An image of you lazing on your bed comes to mind…. This one here showsme that you’re always on the internet watching movies and chatting…. And thisone says you really like sex!’

She laughs and agrees. HBgaokao thendoes a fake palm reading on me. I can’tremember what she said. Haha.

Bring her up to my room. Show her myhometown on Google Maps. Tried to gether to sit on my lap. She declined. So I grabbed her hand and sat her down. A little uncomfortable at first, but she gotused to it.

I got up and checked out some stuff on my bed while HBgaokao used mycomputer. After about 4 minutes I toldher to come over and chat. She got up,but refused to sit on my bed. So Ipicked her up and carried her to my bed. Bad decision. Instantly she getssuper uncomfortable. HBgaokao says shehas to go home, she had been out late the last few nights and her mother wasangry. I can sense that nothing wasgoing to change her mind and escort her to a taxi.

HBgaokao wasn’t comfortable enough to be with me alone in the room. I wonder how much her having a BF alsoaffected her. Maybe she felt guilty about it aswell?

China Drinking Game #1 - 骰子 (shǎizi) Dice Game

2011-04-07T12:00:00.000+08:00

Today, I want to teach you guys some useful things to know in China.

As a foreigner in China I was surprised to see how strong the drinking culture is. Anyway whenever I went out to bars or clubs I would see tons of Chinese people playing this dice game. I’m sure there are different variations but at the basic level it should be similar to what I’ll be explaining.

By the way, dice in Chinese is 骰子 (shǎizi).

This dice game is about lying and bluffing the other players.

To play this dice game you need at least 2 people. More people can play but probably would get really hard to play/coordinate in groups bigger than 5-6.

2 cups, 10 dice = 2 Players!

First off each player gets a non-transparent cup and 5 dice (die?). Turn the cup upside down with the dice inside. The players then shake their dice making sure that other players can’t see what you have.

In the case that all your dice is different (no-repeating numbers) or the dice have landed funny (came out stacked on each other, etc.); you are allowed to re-shake after lifting your cup and showing it to the other players.

You can look at your own dice at any time but you are not allowed to change the values after getting a proper roll.

Players will then take turns bidding on the total number of dice in play.

To bid usually you call out two numbers. The first describes the number of dice in play and the second describes the number value.

i.e. 4-6 （四个六 sì gè liù）: There are 4 dice on the table with the number 6 on it.

There are certain rules that apply when bidding:

1) The first bid must at least be equal to the number of players. i.e. 2 players – must start the bid with at least 2 dice.

2) Bids must increase in either value or amount of dice. In terms of number value it is sequential: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and then 1.

3) The number 1 is usually a wild card. It can represent any number. However if a player bids on the number 1 at any point in the round it is no longer wild for that turn.

4) Players can call bullshit on a bid at any time by revealing their own cup or saying 开 (kāi) which means open. The losing player usually takes a sip of their drink and the round resets.

Example: 2 Players

I might start with an initial bid of 2-4. The other player has to outbid me with 2-5, 2-6, 2-1, 3-2, etc. He can’t bid with 2-2 or 2-3 because it is lower than what I bid. We will then take turns raising our bids until someone calls bullshit on a bid.

In China, clubs/bars are super loud so people will usually use hand signals to bid. This Wikipedia page is a bit wordy but tells you how to count:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_number_gestures.

And a youtube video:

Note on the video - For the number ten this is also a very common way to do it:

Random Encounters During My Nights Out in Shanghai FR #18

2011-04-01T12:00:00.020+08:00

Uh oh. I’ve finally run out of girls to hit on in Shanghai… Haha. I’ve met way too many girls that recognized me while I was out in clubs.

Random Encounter #1 - Let's be Social and Introduce Boys and Girls!

I was getting drinks at the bar when I notice that HBapple keeps glancing towards me. So I decide to approach her.

Me: Hi. Do I know you from somewhere?Her: Yeah, we’ve met somewhere.Me: Oh really. I’m sorry I don’t remember. What was your name again and where did we meet?Her: Oh I can’t remember, sorry. But my name is HBapple. What was your name?Me: blah blah ßafter a while, I think my friends getting bored waiting with the drinks.
Me: You know my friend is here on vacation and he’s a bit shy. Do you mind introducing some of your friends to him?Her: Oh, I don’t know.
Me: Come on. Meet some new people, have some fun, etc.Her: Ok, I’ll ask my friends. I’ll try.Me: Thanks!

Later on I spot her across the dance floor and decide to re-approach HBapple.

Me: Hey did you ask your friends? How many of you are there?
Her: Yes. 4 girls + 1 more a bit later.
Me: Great! There are 5 guys. Perfect.

I took her hand and brought her over. HBapple must have been the leader of the group as all of her friends followed along. Unfortunately my guy friends weren't that into meeting the girls. So they left about 5 minutes after. All in all I moved 4 girls. I’m adding a happy face sticker to my little worksheet. Haha.

Just like elementary school. Awesome!

Random Encounter #2 - What? I've already hit on you before? Then why don't I already have your number? Oh...

Saw these two girls at the bar.

There was nothing too spectacular about these girls. I only mention it because I’ve actually met them before. Of course I couldn’t remember them at the time. I had to go back and check my old reports’s.

Lo and behold she was in FR #6 Approach #1, the architect with pretty bracelets. I had her number written down as well, haha.

It just blows my mind that, after 10+ months of no contact, both of them still remembered me. All this based on a 10 minute interaction I had with them in a loud club. I must have made some impression. Hopefully a fantastic one! :P

Logistics

I’m starting to understand a little why logistics is so important in pick-up. For example in a club, I approached a girl using Genuine Interest Direct and her face lights up.

AsianRake has an example of Genuine Interest Direct opener on his site (http://www.doctorasianrake.com/2010/11/student-report-lr-beautiful-office-girl-from-daytime-dating-on-singapores-orchard-road/#more-2477). His former client "Darren L." has a textbook case in his approach and the story is fun to read as well. Hehe.

The next moment her friend drags her away, and she has this look of helplessness on her face. This isn’t the first time it’s happened either. I can only imagine what could have been if only her friend had not dragged her away…

FR #17 HBTattoo

2011-03-14T12:00:00.000+08:00

I had the usual first date.

I met HBtattoo at a club and arranged a date for a Sunday afternoon. It was raining a bit the day of. So I called HBtattoo to confirm the time. Got some wishy-washy behavior from her. I told her that kind of behavior wasn’t right and that all my friends were positive and non-lazy. HBtattoo accepted my idea and came out to meet me.

I took HBtattoo to a coffee shop. During which she showed me three of her tattoos: tramp stamp, one on her shoulder, and one on her upper pelvic area. So excited! I’ve never been on a date with one of those “bad girls” before. Well she wasn’t really a bad girl, actually quite a nice and friendly girl. But in my relative inexperienced mind, tattoos=bad. Awesome!

I was thinking that the date was going pretty well. If she was able to show me her pelvic tattoo so easily/comfortable I thought that I was doing well. In hindsight it could have also signaled that she’s just really comfortable showing her body off to other guys.

Eventually I brought her to my room, made out on the bed, touching, dry rubbing, etc. No sex and no clothing came off. As the situation got hotter, HBtattoo said rather insistently that she couldn’t be late meeting another friend. So we stopped.

I know that she was telling the truth because her English speaking friend actually called/texted. I was disappointed but it was alright as I had to go meet another friend as well.

The date was pretty standard for me, so I didn’t bother writing in depth about it. What I wanted to talk about was what happened about 2 weeks later.

The next week I got in contact with her. Tried to arrange a meet but we were both busy. So that was no good. She did invite me to go out to ladies night with her gf’s at an upscale bar. But I’m lazy and didn’t want to go out of my way to meet her. I wanted her to come meet me under my terms. I also had the feeling I might have had to entertain her friends if I went out, which didn’t interest me in the least.

But I’m also thinking now that I might be a bit bull headed on that stance of always trying to meet girls in a 1-on-1 setting. Might be counter-productive. I’m not sure.

Yeah. Neediness is not attractive. Duh.

The following week is where all things went to hell. I got super-needy and just generally unattractive.

I get HBtattoo on the phone and I was growing frustrated that she was being difficult in setting a meet up. She was unhelpful in trying to find a time/place that would work for both of us.

I’m sure she could tell I was getting angry. But she didn’t seem to comprehend why I was getting angry. I asked her what all that kissing meant and other things in the same vein. I can’t remember the rest of conversation but here are some snippets that I do remember that she told me:

“We’re just friends…. I’m not looking for a boyfriend…”

“I knew you wanted sex…. I was just going along (with the kissing)… I didn’t want to hurt your feelings…”

I think HBtattoo self-rationalized about what happened that day we were in my bed. But on the other hand my explanation might be my self-esteem trying to protect itself. She’s leaving China in 1-2 months for Australia. I think she also just recently broke up with a white foreigner BF. Escalation occurred too fast. HBtattoo may have tattoos but is actually a bit conservative.

What I don’t understand is: can girls just kiss any guy and not feel anything? Will girls kiss guys just because they don’t want to hurt the guys feeling? This actually made me question my beliefs regarding women. Just when I thought I was beginning to understand them… I felt like a rug was pulled out from under me.

This was definitely a frame shaking event…. I also lost my cool with the girl, very uncool.

FR #16 Persist!

2011-03-07T12:00:00.000+08:00

Power of Persistence

Recently I’ve been reading a few posts by TokyoPUA. In one of them he explains that often times people will give up too early and not persist. In one of his experiences he approached a girl in a store, where she ignored him for a few minutes. Despite this TokyoPua continued on and eventually went on to succeed with the girl.

Thinking back on my own experiences, I definitely don’t persist as much as I should. Usually if I get ignored or get a bad reaction from a girl I will immediately eject. The image of a dog with his tail in-between his legs’ slinking away comes to mind. Actually more recently I’ve been prone to sticking around the same area. I always feel that if I get “rejected” and I leave immediately, my social value drops hugely. As if people were watching the interaction, I become really self-conscious. So I tend to stick around, kind of awkwardly, until I can relax a bit. But I’m starting to doubt that. Unless, the girl is super hot I doubt people would take notice.

Is there a cool way to eject? Should I stick around? Can I just leave?

So I thought to myself: “What would happen if I stuck around and persisted more?”

At A Certain Club - HBMarried

It was super crowded in the club. I notice HBMarried and her 2 friends getting drinks at the bar. I approached her and started talking to her and she responds back politely. Don’t remember all the details but I can tell she’s not that keen. HBMarried get’s distracted by her friends, tries to get her drink, and turns her back to me.

It wasn’t an outright rejection or overtly negative. I then decided to see what would happen if I stuck around and kept talking to her. I tap her on the shoulder and somehow I manage to keep getting a response back.

She tried to make herself unavailable by saying she was married.

Her: I’m married!

Me: Oh really, where is your ring?

Her: Oh… I didn’t wear it tonight.

Me: So you’re not married!

Her: No, I really am.

Me: But you’re not wearing ring. So I guess you’re not married. Haha

But eventually I guess she got tired of being polite and she grabs HBFriend1 and tries to pass me off to her.

I always wonder about girls that introduce other girl’s to me. Is it a test: to see if I am interested in just any girl? Did the girl become genuinely disinterested in the conversation and is trying to get rid of me? I know I’ve definitely done the old pass-e-roo onto some of my guy friends when girls were boring me. Haha, sorry guys! :P Luckily, so far all the friends that girls have passed onto me weren’t attractive, so no problem.

But I know the day is coming when both girls are hot. What to do… What to do… I wonder if there is a way to attract them both without affecting believability. Heh, I’m greedy.

I introduced myself and acknowledged HBFriend1’s presence and went back to talking to HBMarried.

The next thing she tried to do was say that she was lesbian.

Her: I’m actually a lesbian.

Me: Oh cool. You’re a lesbian? Do you know xyz or abc place? ß I know the LGBT venues quite well, my roommates are Gay men.

Her: Umm… ß Squirms a bit, trails off, and grabs HBFriend2 for a quick kiss.

Nice. It wasn’t a full out make out, but fun to watch anyway. It’s always interesting to meet more lesbians.

At this point the conversation is pretty much defused and dead. She has her back turned on me.

What did I decide to do? Of course try to talk to her some more. I tap her again on the shoulder and surprisingly she turns and responds to me. We go on for a bit, until finally she has had enough. She brought in HBFriend2 to talk to me and moved away.

Haha. Poor girl. The place was so packed that HBMarried had no place to run. I wonder how long she would have stayed in the interaction if the place wasn’t so crowded.

That was my real first attempt at persisting. Nothing outrageously bad happened, although I can totally imagine some awful things that could occur.

Definitely a worthwhile skill to develop. I don’t think it's a wise idea to persist in every situation and time. I have to find the right mix where persisting isn’t a waste of my time.

At A Certain Club - Rude to Interrupt

I was chilling with the back against my wall: wasn’t being very social either. I spotted HBtall at the bar counter, but I was too nervous to approach. She had two foreign guys (GuyPhoto and GuyA) and HBfriend all vying for her attention. GuyA was tall and handsome. GuyPhoto was some kind of photographer taking pictures for the night. HBtall was laughing and looked like she was enjoying the conversation.

I was sure I was losing social value and momentum just standing at the wall, next to the bouncer. But I couldn’t gather up the courage to break in to the set while guys/girls were engaging HBtall.

Eventually after spending about 8 minutes waiting by myself, only HBfriend was talking to HBtall. When they stopped I went in.

I approached HBtall and started to talk to her. Immediately after HBfriend physically turned me around and told me off for cutting in.

HBfriend: It’s very rude to interrupt two people talking. ß borderline irritated/angry

Me: You guys weren’t talking… ß I waited till they finished their conversation and then went in.

HBfriend: Yes, we were.

Me: What were you talking about that was soooo important? ß getting irritated/angry myself

HBfriend: It doesn’t matter. You were being rude.

Me: If you wanted to have a serious discussion. I think a club is a bad place to have it.

I know I probably shouldn’t have gotten angry. But I did. I’m not quite sure why I got irritated/angry. I think I just absorbed/reflected back the energy I was getting from HBfriend. Actually I’m not used to getting angry reactions from people and I definitely wasn’t sure how I should have reacted. However I do know that getting angry was probably the wrong way to handle the situation.

I think HBfriend was angry/jealous HBtall was getting so much attention: HBfriend was neither tall nor pretty.

I turn my back on HBfriend and continue talking to HBtall. After about a minute, HBtall tells me politely: “I’m with someone,” and I quietly make my exit.

FR #15 HBbank

2010-12-27T19:01:00.000+08:00

Friday Night

I was out on a Friday night. Made plans with a new Taiwanese guy friend (Wing-H) to meet his coworker (HBweird) and her friends (from high school/college?) for a drink. He told me it was HBweird and 3 other of her friends. Hmm 4 girls 2 guys? Ratio is good. Being optimistic I thought at least one of them must be cute!

Going to the place he did keep mentioning that HBweird was pretty weird. I guess he didn’t want me to think that all his friends were like that.

So we meet up with them and I assume the girls already have had a couple of drinks.

I remember Wing-H and I introducing ourselves. They wanted to know where I work. So I told them, but they didn’t recognize the English name. Wing-H re-explained it to them in Mandarin. I think the fact that he translated/explained to them raised my value.

When it got time to introduce themselves I remember a mini-bitch fight going on between HBbank and HBweird. HBbank changed her English name from "A" to "B". Apparently she wanted to have a more professional / responsible English name. So HBweird was calling her on it b/c she knew HBbank’s English name as "A" for a couple of years. I wonder why they were doing this. It got a bit awkward for me watching them.

Please leave interrogation to the professionals.....

I did try to speak a bit to HB1 and HB2 mostly b/c they were right by me. However they spoke very little English and I couldn’t be bothered to speak Chinese when HBweird and HBbank could speak English very well.

After this HBweird and HBbank really start to question me: the usual interview questions. I can’t remember exactly what. HBweird is satisfied by my answer, however HBbank is not. It felt like HBbank was interrogating me.

One question in particular:

“Why come to Shanghai?”

I didn’t really have a good answer. I also didn’t want to think and go through all the reasons for coming to Shanghai. So I deflected the question by turning it around on her. Asking her why she felt Shanghai wasn’t such a great city and what’s wrong with Shanghai?

Are you the seal? or the trainer?

She asked other questions and I felt I couldn’t really satisfy her with the effort I was putting into my answers. So I tried to deflect most of them off of me and back to her. I did not want to jump through her hoop.

I didn’t realize at the time but I think not answering her was the right thing to do, even if it came about from my own laziness. B/c if I did spend time answering her I think I would have been qualifying myself to her.

I tried not to engage HBbank so much in talking. I didn’t want to telegraph a strong interest in her without qualifying her. And speaking across the table when I have people to my sides seems try-hard. So I decided to just try to maintain strong eye contact with her.

From the eye contact and the questions she was plying me with I did have a slight feeling that HBbank was into me. If she was putting that much effort into interrogating me and generally being rude/obstinate with me she had to be attracted. I remember reading somewhere that a girl will only get emotional over guys that they have an interest in.

The group wasn’t doing anything so I suggested we play a drinking game: had Wing-h translate in Chinese. HB1 and HB2 weren’t that good at English so we changed to a simpler drinking game.

Towards the end of the interaction at this table I either asked for/told her to give me a taste of her drink(Kahlua Milk).

Me: It’s a bit watery for my tastes (from the melted ice).

HBbank: Oh I like it like this. (bit standoffish)

HBweird: I agree with him it’s watery (taking a drink from her glass).

Those two were so catty that night.

As we were getting ready to leave, I sensed that I was going to miss my chance to get HBbank's phone number. I wasn’t a 100% sure that she was into me. But I figured why not go for it anyway. HBbank was about 2m away from me and I beckoned her over. She complied.

Me: You weren’t thinking about leaving without giving me your contact info.

Were you?

HBbank: No not at all (said hastily)

I try to get her to take out her phone. But instead she insists on putting her number into my phone. Not the best, but acceptable.

I always feel that a girl putting a number into my phone isn’t as solid as me putting my number into her phone. I have a nagging suspicion that some girls don’t want to have another contact entry in her phone.

I called her and she made sure that the phone number I had on my phone was actually her number.

Saturday (the next day)

Texting:

Me: Standard Txt about new friends

Her: Do you get my text?

Me: No, what did you text me?

Her: Haha, good to have a new friend. Was I unpolite?

Me: Why do you think you were unpolite?

Her: Get it. U really like asking questions

Me: Haha if I remember correctly you were the one asking all the questions (yesterday)

Sunday (the next day)

Finished a mediocre date with HBfinance. Did a mass ping text (something I learned from the AsianRake). Got a response from HBbank and gave her a call.

It sounded like she was a bit busy. So I said I’d call her back. She said she would call me back. Of course I hate it when girls say they’ll call me back. They rarely do.

I didn’t know what her situation was. So about 20minutes later I text her something along the lines of: “No need to be embarrassed talking in front of your parents.” I interpreted her behavior on the phone as being embarrassed speaking English in front of her parents.

Her: Im the gps of my mum. We are heading to the hospital.

Me: Is everything ok?

I don’t get a response and I go about my business at home. Wasn’t expecting much from her.

Surprise Surprise. HBbank does call me back and she sounds bored. I find out her logistics.

I wasn’t in the mood to spend more money that afternoon and didn’t particularly want to go on another date in a coffee shop.

Me: Can you cook?

Her: Yes, a little.

Me: Great come on over to my place. We’ll cook something and have dinner

together.

Her: ok. Where do you live? ß think to myself “oh my god”

can’t believe this is working

Gooooooooaaaal!

Send her my address. Meet her downstairs by a convenience store all the while thinking:

“sweet this girl wants sex. I’m getting laid!”

When I meet her she says she’s not hungry and that she is on a diet. I agree and take her to the convenience store and get some alcohol for us to drink. On the way to my home she asks me:

“You’re not getting the wrong message from me by going to your home so soon, are you?”

Of course I agree and change the topic to something else.

Once in my room I try to get her to sit on my lap while I’m showing her something on my computer. I get resistance but I persist and she tacitly accepts it for a few minutes before getting off and saying she is not comfortable. I shrug it off, put in a movie, get her on my bed and show her some stuff.

She reiterates that it is her first time in a man’s home. I ask where she usually went with her past bf’s and she says usually a hotel. HBbank asks again if she is sending the wrong message by being in my home so quickly. I reassure her that she’s not. Of course at this point I’m thinking:

“yeah you are sending the wrong message. If you LJBF I’m going to be pretty pissed.”

Things I did on my bed with her:

1) Had her teach me Shanghainese. I taught her Korean.

2) Asked her to teach me some Chinese games, she tried but didn’t know any. I taught her how to play thumb wrestling. I wanted to make things interesting and suggest having a bet on who would win. I always want to bet something like a kiss but feel it would be try-hard. So instead I bet dinner instead. I win so she has to buy me dinner. Score!

3) Finally had the opportunity to do cold reads, well at least half of it. I pulled out my notepad with the ‘4 questions game’ and ‘strawberry fields’ instructions. Told her to lie down on my bed and close her eyes. She complied. I recorded her answers but didn’t know how to interpret them. I told her I would look it up and tell her later on.

4) Question game

I don’t know how but she ends up talking about her ex-BF a lot.

She’s 25. Has only had one BF. First time to have sex was either 21 or 23. Her ex-BF is handsome so she doesn’t feel secure in the relationship. She broke up with him b/c she didn’t like long-distance relationships. She also told me that she might get back together with him. She wasn’t sure yet.

I did realize while she was in my room, that I wasn’t doing a good job qualifying/screening her. So I spent about ~10 minutes trying to do so. I think it went ok. She ended up telling me about her dream job which I thought was quite personal. So I genuinely thanked her for sharing.

One of my goals is to have
a hot sugar momma.... :P

I think she started to realize that she was attracted to me, was in my room, and things were starting to get sexual. Which led her to insist on dinner. I took her to a nice Korean restaurant which she paid for (~350 RMB). Awesome, I am one step closer to my dream of having a hot sugar momma.

We held hands before and after dinner. Despite the fact that she complained that she didn’t want to. I shrugged off her meritless complaint and did it anyway. Token resistance to holding hands…

After dinner I showed her a nearby Korean supermarket and took a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. We shared a taxi going back home, she dropped me off first.

Made plans to meet in 2 weeks. In the taxi ride she gave what I thought was a huge IOI:

Her: I’m not sure what to do… (in terms of relationships) Suddenly a guy like you appears out of nowhere.

I then played up “don’t miss opportunities” angle. She agreed with me. I got off and told her to text me when she got home. She complied and texted me ~20 minutes later.

FR #14 HBFinance

2010-12-01T12:00:00.000+08:00

Friday Night

I was looking for my friend on the dance floor. Saw HBFinance but didn’t approach.

After about 2 minutes scanning the dance floor, I gave up looking for my friend. Take a closer look at HBFinance, notice she was cute and approached her.

I’m still working on my sticking point of screens/qualifications. So I remember I qualified her on her travels and my assumption of her intelligence (b/c she worked in finance).

I must have talked with her for about 7 minutes or so. Interestingly enough this girl would put in a lot of work. She was talking about 65~70% of the time. Our bodies made a V-shape, so our hips weren't facing directly.

I did notice that while I was talking to her, her right hand would stay on her left shoulder. I wonder if it was because she was embarrassed by her loose t-shirt (revealed too much cleavage). Or I was making her nervous.

I’ve noticed a habit of mine when talking/listening to people. I’ll often look at something else to really focus/concentrate on what their saying. I think it might be a bad habit as people might think I’m zoning out.

I managed to time bridge on the following Sunday. But she said she might be busy with family stuff. So I thought it would be very low probability.

Soon after, her friend dragged her off.

Saturday Afternoon

Me: Text standard Intro.

Her: :) cu 2moro?!

Me: I said something about being busy with work at the morning. And gave her logistical information and to meet around 1pm on Sunday.

I didn’t get a confirmation text back, so I still wasn’t sure if it would happen.

Sunday Afternoon

Sent her a text reconfirming meet up info, no response back. A few hours later gave her a call, she picks up and the date is a go.

Get out of trouble quick with
sad puppy look! Haha.

I told her to meet me at H&M. She was running late. So I thought I could use some of that time to open some girls at H&M. I’m always a bit hesitant about approaching girls before a date. I’d think it would be awkward if I got caught talking to another girl while I was waiting for my date. But I’m starting to think this is something I have to reframe.

Anyway the first girl I decided to approach turned out to be HBFinance. -_- It was a good thing she opened her mouth before I did. Haha.

Took her to an arcade and played one of those basketball games. Then we walked (15 min) to a Japanese Cafe for tea and cheesecake.

One thing I noticed is that she was always unreceptive of any kind of physical touch. At this point in my PU experience I think gently guiding a girl’s elbow, grabbing her hand to bring her to a place, or even nudging a girl to move via my hand on her back is quite normal and acceptable practice.

Yes. Embarrassingly this drawing is much better
than what I can draw personally.

But whenever I did so she would always tense up and wiggle out of physical contact with me. Weird.

Another point is that she always tried to lead me around or go ahead (first). Maybe this is because my walk is much too leisurely. When I’m out, often times I don’t have a quick purposeful walk. I have a leisurely stroll time of walk/pace. I’m usually always telling girls to slow down and enjoy the walk (Sometimes they still don’t get the message). She had a very down-to-business (transactional) attitude.

HBFinance apparently had no job for about a year and was trying to get another job in Finance industry. She still had the means to travel around while unemployed. HBFinance lived in Australia for 10 years since moving there as a high school student.

At the teahouse, I sit across from her. I’m still not that good at sitting on the sides of girls in a non-booth situation, not enough experience in non-booth venue dates. For this date I wasn’t feeling a strong attraction between either of us. There was something missing.

HBFinance talked a lot, ~65-70% of the time. So at least in my eyes I had investment from her.

She was pretty enough. But I don’t know what went wrong. I think I got turned off b/c she was being such a cool cucumber.

I got to try out the “4 questions” game. But it was a bit dorky b/c I had to pull out my notepad and pen. I haven’t gotten around to memorizing it yet. Nevertheless finally did at least ½ a cold read. Didn’t tell her what the responses meant.

Towards the middle of the date at the tea house I was feeling no energy with her and decided to ask her what kind of guys she ends up dating. She said she wasn’t sure and said it depended on her feelings. Haha. A very typical girl answer. It was a perfectly valid and truthful answer. But despite that even now I still get frustrated with that response because it’s such a vague answer.

HBfinance did mention that she usually dates guys from her social circle and would never date a guy from a club. Interesting. I’m guessing her buying temperature was up in the club and was into me that night, but on a Sunday afternoon her energy was way down.

I was getting bored and I could tell she was getting bored. So I ended the date rather than prolong it.

I did decide to ask her to my home under some kind of pretext. I thought I might as well b/c I doubt I would see her again. She was going back to Australia the following week. She declined and I got the check.

More Thoughts #2 - Revenge of the Mind Overlord!

2010-11-24T12:00:00.002+08:00

Update on Visualizations

I don’t know if it is b/c I’m out with more guys or b/c I’m doing visualizations. I am definitely more comfortable with hot girls. The idea of approaching them doesn’t frighten me so badly. Approach anxiety is still there, but not as bad as before.

Going out with Friends is a crutch

Going out with fun guys is great. However I get used to going out in a group and I get anxious at thought of going out by myself. Why do I get this dependency? Very odd, in that after I go out by myself a few times I’ll lose that dependency. I’ll have steeled myself to the feeling of going out alone. But as soon as I get used to going out in a group I’ll lose that mental bracing.

Let us battle.... Psychically!

Cold Reads

I finally tried out cold reads. Well at least ½ a cold read. Did “4 question” game and “strawberry fields” but didn’t tell them the answer. Mostly b/c I don’t know what the results meant, I’m not that familiar with interpretative psychology, and I can’t BS that quickly.

Nevertheless one step forward and another tool I can add to my tool belt!

“Friend” Frame Battles

I still struggle with frame control with girls after being sexual (escalating) with them. A lot of girls don’t accept my “friends” frame. The “friends” frame is where I want to date (or have sex) girls as friends before they become my GF. They’ll usually say things like –

I’ll only kiss / hug / have sex/ hold hands with my BF.

But I don’t understand that mentality. At what point do a girl and boy achieve BF/GF status? Do I suddenly say: “You are now my girlfriend,” and suddenly everything is kosher? If I press a girl about it, she will usually say something on the lines of, “it depends on my feelings…” Those pesky feelings… What a vague answer.

Wanting Validation from Girls

I’ve started to notice that I’m looking for a positive response from girls. Uh oh. That can’t be good. I feel the need for validation from girls in interactions, looking for their approval and implicit permission to go on.

The overall implications escape my grasp for now, but clarions are blasting in my mind. I think I read somewhere this is a big no-no. I can’t remember what I was supposed to do about it, however will keep it in mind.

Re-think my D2’s

Hmm. Maybe my D2’s aren’t sexy or mood inducing (seductive) enough. Often times I follow the same D2 venues. Usually if it’s late at night I will just start at a coffee shop.

Meet at shopping mall à Go play basketball game at arcade à grocery shopping (if I need groceries) à DVD Store (if I need dvd’s) à Coffee Shop à My Room

The arcade and the grocery are in the shopping mall.

I wonder what other activities I can do to create a more seductive atmosphere, while still being cheap, close, and convenient.

Screening/Qualifying - Update

I’m still really trying to only qualify girls that put real effort into the interaction with me. Maybe I’m being too demanding of girls I meet in clubs: being so strict means that I rarely am able to qualify a girl. But getting a girl to really think and invest in her answer is really difficult. I’ll still get answers like:

I have nothing special about me. I don’t know.

or short/shallow replies.

At least in my mind really trying to qualify a girl is a step in the right direction. But I find it difficult to elicit a frank, well thought-out answer. Thus I am not able to qualify. Maybe I’m not asking the right question.

Is it ok to re-screen or re-qualify on a topic? If I qualify her once on a passed screen, does it exempt her from further screens on the same topic in the future? Can I go back to previous screens/qualifiers and redo them?

In the past I would qualify girls very easily. But I don’t think that got me anywhere. Is there a place for easy screening/qualification? Or is that more for the quick lay?

Sticking Points - Methodology

1. Identify the sticking point.

2. Identify the mental state(s) that is at the root of the problem. This is the undesired mental state.

3. Identify why and how I got into the undesired mental state.

4. Generate ways to avoid getting into the undesired mental state again.

5. Identify the mental state(s) that I should be in. This is the desired mental state(s).

6. Repeat steps 3-4 in regard to the desired mental state(s).

7. Only then do I consider what I would do on the outside, i.e., what I would say or how I would act.

8. Figure out how I can get and keep myself in the desired mental state.

Found this on the AsianRake's site. Thought it was a good way to handle/think through sticking points

More thoughts - Boy I sure do think a lot!

2010-11-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

Work

I miss my free time. After work I have 3 hours before I go to sleep. 3 hours is such a short time to do what I want/need to do.

How the hell does one wield this sword?

A few weeks ago I mentioned that work has made me a lot less needy. Because I am busy and can’t focus on girls so much. I am rethinking my position on work. Work might be a double-edged sword.

I have less time to think about girls and in some aspects this has made me less needy. However I feel that in certain periods (situations) working full time amplifies my neediness. There is a certain realization/acceptance that I am only going to get busier and inversely my perceived availability to practice PU will only diminish.

I’m not anywhere near satisfied with my skill level yet, and the thought that I won’t be able to devote quality time to pick up is aggravating and frightening. I’m frightened that my life will slip into mediocrity in terms of women and I never ever want to settle for just any girl.

The thought has occurred to me that I might use work as an excuse not to practice my social skills/PU. I can so easily see myself getting comfortable just working and putting all my effort into that. It is a slippery slope.

Boundary Pusher

I met a new guy. He said I seemed like a goody two shoes and a person who doesn’t push boundaries. Uh oh. Not the image I want to convey.

I may have a problem with the way I view the world. For the longest time and even now, my way of life has been to cause other people as little trouble as I could. Don’t intentionally burden or intentionally cause trouble for trouble’s sake. Minimize my presence. Don’t cause conflict.

My friend said he couldn't imagine me pushing boundaries.

i.e. if a person drew a line in the sand and said don’t cross this line. I probably would not cross that line.

My thinking is that:

1. There is a good reason for why he told me not to cross the line. He is looking out for my best interests.

I.e. pushing that red button would probably cause a bomb to go off ala Lost’s Hatch.

2. There is no benefit for me to cross that line. I don’t gain anything by crossing. My ego is not that fragile that I need to rail against any perceived slight against it.

3. It’s just a line. It doesn’t really matter.

4. I’m lazy; I don’t want to bother arguing about crossing a line in the ground.

I think this kind of thinking is hurting me in terms of PU/being sexy/dominant. What is the point of pushing boundaries that are arbitrary? Pushing boundaries for the sake of pushing boundaries sounds inefficient and stupid.

Also apparently my clothing style is still too nice. Sigh. At least it’s better than what it was before.

Flaking On Girls

I’ve been flaking on girls more often recently. But I don’t feel that they care very much about me flaking on them. There is no extra effort on their part to chase me or set up another time. I get an ambivalent feeling from them. My passive value might be too low with them.

Not many Americans
know this man....

Modeling Pimps/Cool Guys

I should model/act like a pimp/cool guy. Logically I understand what they are doing, but I want to understand what there mindset is/ what their thought processes are / feelings are.

Maybe I’m making it harder than it is. But I don’t understand what is going on or what motivates them.

I read Russell Brand’s auto-biography and didn’t really understand what his thought processes were: besides his obsession with drugs and his self-destructive nature. There was a lot less sex in that book than I thought there would be.

Setting Goals

My friend was telling me about his goals and his inability to get them done. This triggered a memory that I haven’t thought of in years.

I don’t remember everything about it but I can recall some memories/emotions that I felt at the time. I remember being around 8 years old and ambitiously wrote down some goals.

I think I wrote down several, but can only remember two specifically:

1. Be fluent in 5 specific languages, included Russian. As a child I thought a person was really cool if they could speak many languages.

2. Become super rich

I probably had other generic goals as well. I can’t remember. After writing the goals down I posted it up on my wall. Later on I felt embarrassed about my goals list, took it down, and threw it away. Only to later on have my mom find the crumpled list and repost it. Of course this made me super embarrassed, and I quickly took it down again and made sure there was no trace of this list.

In retrospect I wish I kept that list. I think it would have been cool to see that list as an adult. Also interestingly my internal idea of a cool guy, who speaks many languages, was strong enough that I pursued language study. Or even as a kid I just liked learning languages. Being able to communicate with other people is such a cool/essential skill.

Even now I am quite reluctant/afraid to write down my goals. So I thought about it some more and tried to come up with reasons why that is.

1. I am embarrassed by my ambition.

A. I should stay in my given place.

B. Don’t reach for the impossible

2. Afraid of failure

3. Don’t want other people to see my goals

A. Don’t want to be made fun of for my goals

B. Don’t want to be held accountable for them. If I don’t write it down no one can say anything about it.

4. Don’t want to be responsible for it. As long as I don’t write it down, goals are ephemeral and not concrete.

5. I don’t deserve it.

Hmm.... What does it all mean? Haha.

Thoughts - Visualizations, Affirmations, Sexual Stereotyping

2010-11-10T12:00:00.001+08:00

Visualizations

Work has really been sapping my free time. I’m really trying to figure out ways to improve my game quickly/efficiently without necessarily having to be in-field. After reading that visualizations have really helped Regal on the masf forums. I’ve reconsidered doing visualizations. I have never really given it a proper chance mostly b/c its mentally exhausting.

One day kitty... One day...

I have been doing visualizations for the last two weeks for about 5 minutes right before bed: alternating 3^rd person view one day and 1^st person on the next day. I usually go through several scenarios in my mind.

In the daytime: Stopping a moving girl, Approach a stationary girl

In a club: Stopping a moving girl, Approach a stationary girl

Thinking about adding these situations: mixed groups, all girl groups

Currently in my visualizations I can approach girls. However once in the interaction I can see myself struggling/waffling after I open. In my mind I try to maintain a conversation or to screen/qualify but I see myself struggling (waffling around). I’m not quite sure what to do after.

My visualizations are definitely not as detailed or as vivid as the scene from the movie The Secret.

During the visualization exercises I am easily distracted by other thoughts and lose focus. As for visualizing girls, I usually just use a women’s fashion magazine and pick a girl from there. I tried visualizing celebrity girls, but I just can’t hold them in my mind for long periods (forget what they look like). It really helps to have an image I can keep in front of me.

How long should I spend on visualizations? Should they be done in real time or can I speed them up/slow down?

Do I need to be imagining the conversation? Or is it enough to see myself and the girl interacting successfully? ßi.e. imagine the way adults in the Peanuts cartoon talk using a wow-wow mute or something similar.

Visualizations are very hard. And I have hard time keeping my mind from wandering. How will I know they are working?

Stay positive!

Affirmations

Is there a way to make affirmations more effective? I read them every morning once a day and usually once more before I go to clubs or on a date. Do I need to put emotion into reading them to make it work better? I’ve read that people just belt it out.

Sexy Clothing/Stereotyping

Is sexy different in Asia and America? I’ve been looking at GQ Korea and some GQ China for many months now. While I find the people in the magazines very fashionable and well dressed (usually in nice blazers and shirts). I don’t know if I personally find it sexy/dangerous/exciting/masculine.

FR #13 SH Expo Girls

2010-11-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

My best interaction was with a Hong Kong girl (HBExpo) I met on the dance floor. It was originally a group of two girls.

It’s blatantly obvious to me that my new acquaintance (AFCFrench) was into HBfriend. He was dancing close to and behind her. After about 3 minutes of watching him not doing anything and getting frustrated watching him, I tell HBfriend to meet AFCfrench. She complies and AFCfrench is quite happy. At that moment I considered trying to hit on HBfriend b/c she was hotter than HBexpo, but decided against it. Probably better to let AFCfrench have a go. Maybe my ego talking but I’m 75% confident that she would have liked me better. But it made the dude happy. I guess I’m too nice…

I ask HBexpo the usual questions and I feel that it is “on” very early in the interaction (first 3 minutes). I test her physical boundaries by placing one hand on her back. She accepts it and continues dancing. Meanwhile I keep talking with her but no screening/qualifying. I was too distracted by the sexual tension/energy. Put my other hand on her lower back and bring her closer to me. She accepts this as well. After a few minutes of her dancing, I start to really lay heavy eye contact.

I read something about having strong eye contact by searching a person’s eyes. So I have been trying that. Have no clue if it works or not. Hopefully it’s not making me look like a weirdo.

I feel a lot of sexual tension, so I know she must be feeling it too. Feel that I can go for a kiss/makeout, so I pull her chin up and go for it. Success. My 2^nd club make out. Awesome! I stop the kiss on my terms. And just keep gazing at her with strong eye contact. She usually turns her head away, and says she is shy. Hahahaha.

I try to get her to come with me to a late night eatery. No go. Wait a few more minutes, and eventually just grab her hand and she follows me all the way out of a crowded club to the entrance. HBfriend has to follow HBexpo and AFCfrench follows HBfriend. Outside I try to get HBexpo to come out and I can tell that she’s willing/ready to go.

However HBexpo eye codes with HBfriend and I know it’s not going to go well. HBfriend doesn’t want to go, and so HBexpo can’t go. HBexpo probably doesn’t want to look like a slut in front of her friend. Lame. AFCfrench what have you been doing with HBfriend?

The girls go back inside. I look for my other guy friends inside and find HBexpo twice. But as soon as I turn my back those girls are gone. My gut says that HBfriend dragged HBexpo away b/c HBexpo’s was too horny for me.

Thoughts - Desperation & Purpose of Going Out

2010-10-18T12:00:00.001+08:00

Desperation

In order to meet more naturals and experience Chinese club tables I have been trying to build my social circle. I met up with an Australian (ethnic Chinese). We chill for a little bit at the bar, and a bunch of his Chinese guy friends come out.

The reason I mention his friends is because I noticed something that night. One of his friends really wanted sex. I could see it on him. It showed in his actions, eyes, and vibe.

At one point of the night he asked me where one of the girls from the social circle went. The guy looked like a starving dog searching for food. If I had to sum up his look I would say it was desperation.

I asked my friend later and he said that guy always looked for sex. But never took any girls home.

Desperation is not an attractive look. I wonder if I emit the same kind of desperation and how I can check/stop it. I find it surprising that guys like him exist: super desperate for sex. I definitely want more sex, but I don’t know if I can say I want it that badly. But maybe I am just on my own high horse, looking down on other guys. Not sure.

I think I remember reading something about their being two motivators for sex (written by Regal?). One reason is for validation and the other reason is for pure physical pleasure. I’m definitely still going for validation.

The Purpose of going out

The Australian (ethnic Chinese) is an interesting guy. I think I can learn from him, but he might be full of shit as well. Can’t tell as of yet. He said he once dated a Miss Hawaii winner, so if it’s true he must have some skill in dating women.

The aspect I find the most interesting about him is his priorities when out at a club. Often times he’ll go out to a club, buy a mixed drink jug, and just stay at that table. His priority is to hang out with his friends or stay at the bar and drink. Which got me thinking about: having fun, making connections, and seeing if people match your standards (http://www.doctorasianrake.com/2008/01/on-the-superiority-of-internally-driven-game/).

Yes, I'm enjoying my appletini....

He sees me approach other girls, he always points towards the drink: “My priority is this…. Not searching for girls…” That’s ok and all, but I’ve been out with him on 3 different nights, but have not really seen him approach any girls not in his social circle. Furthermore I think he has a negative view on picking up girls. Not sure what to make of him yet.

If the purpose of going out to clubs is to have fun, when do you approach/meet girls? Or is approaching girls’ part of that fun? I have definitely been out with my friends and either get bored with my friends or get distracted by all the pretty girls. Is there a distinction between having fun and meeting girls? My main priority right now definitely is to meet more girls and gain more experience.

FR #12 World Cup 2010

2010-10-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

Recent Thoughts:

1) A friend told me that having sex with 3 girls in a month was really good. I know I should be congratulating myself. But I have such a weird mind set. I think it is only natural that I should be closing those girls.

I wasn’t sure how often guys get laid. But a quick google search says the median number is 7 women in a lifetime. I have a hard time accepting that, that seems way too few. When I consider how many girls a guy should have slept with, I don’t really have a clue. Can having sex with girls be that difficult? Do most men not regularly have sex?

I read that the AsianRake once laid ~30 girls in 2 months, I kind of internalized that guys really good with girls get regularly laid that amount. However once I thought about it, I realize that it’s definitely unsustainable.

2) Been reading the MASF archives (fastseduction.com) a lot recently. Regal has some great posts on. Too bad he doesn’t have an archive… I had to manually copy and paste 90 pages worth of posts. -_-

On to read TokyoPUA, A2DAmir, and Zan.

3) Started to go through my old FR’s. I may not feel I have gotten better (internal thoughts that I have always been at this level), but I have!

FR - Grabbing Guys by the Neck

There was nothing too out of the ordinary on this particular Friday night. One thing I did want to mention: I saw two of the ABC guys from the outing last weekend at the venue.

One of the guys (ABC1) I’m pretty friendly with and vice versa.

The last time I was out with him I dragged ABC1 along with me and we approached lots of different groups of girls. They all blew out, but no biggy. He seemed a bit AFC, so I figured if I tried to get him to be active and introduce him to girls he would be appreciate it. I was right. Didn’t mention this guy in the last FR, ABC1 is not the heavy believability guy or the alpha frat boy (ABC2).

So I see him out there and I introduce ABC1 to my friends I’m with and we chat for a bit. And suddenly ABC2, the one that got me intimidated comes by. I’m pretty certain ABC2 saw me. Maybe I’m imagining it but I thought I saw a split second look of recognition on his face. Anyway he consciously ignored me, talked to ABC1, and boxed me out sideways. He also dragged ABC1’s head down, by the neck with his hands, to talk to him.

Why is he so physically dominant with his “friend?” Is it b/c the other friend is a small AFC. I can’t imagine him doing that to a bigger guy. It boggles my mind. Why would a guy do something like this? I know from experience this isn’t comfortable for the guy being dragged down and yet he is doing it to his friend. What kind of person makes things intentionally uncomfortable for other people?

But that isn’t the question I had. My question is what should I have done? Do I push myself into that interaction? Do I forcefully re-introduce/re-acknowledge him? My gut feeling was telling me that it would be too try hard so I just ignored ABC2, and later said my goodbye to ABC1 and let them leave (didn’t acknowledge ABC2).

Possible reasons he ignored me?

1) Threatened by me.

2) Didn’t think I was of consequence. Not a social guy to dudes, only girls.

FR - Drunk Korean Girls

Some of my friends were going to a club and I ended up going there to meet them. I personally wouldn’t have bothered with this particular club. It’s been pretty downhill and the quality of girls has really taken a hit. But you got to make do with what you have. -_-

Almost, but not quite there.... Haha

Anyway my friend’s GF had finally arrived from Europe (Ethnic Asian, quite a cool girl as well, very happy for the two). The three of us start chatting and my friend informs his GF that I am looking for a girl. He quickly volunteers her to be my wing girl that night. She readily agrees and tries to approach a group of 3 girls. But, she kind of waffles half way between us and them, and comes back. I appreciate the effort!

Haha. So I made my way to them.

I knew they were Korean, b/c one of the girls had a South Korea flag drawn on her (K-flag) face because of the S. Korea World Cup Match that night.

I start talking to the three and one of girls (K-drunk) was really into me. ß in retrospect she was really really into me.

How do I know she was into me? Well, two of the girls were seated and getting a drink at the bar. I talk to them and K-drunk leans way over her seated friend to talk to me. I didn’t notice at the time, but my friend’s GF pointed that bit of body language to me afterwards.

I thought they weren’t that interested and ejected after about 3-4 minutes and went back to my friends. I must have made an impression, b/c apparently when I opened another girl (much hotter than the Koreans) they were eyeing me with great interest. Again I didn’t notice them watching me, but my friend’s GF told me they were watching after I finished talking to the hot girl (too bad she was a club promoter at a dying club…).

Out of the three Korean girls (K-drunk, K-flag, K-Cute), I thought K-flag was the hottest but had the least interest in me, K-drunk wasn’t pretty enough, and K-Cute was well, cute enough.

Hmm can’t remember what happened too much during the middle of the night. I remember looking for girls to talk to, but found quality seriously lacking… So I think I just chatted with some other friends at the Venue and tried to give some space to my friend and his recently arrived GF.

If only every day could be World Cup Korea Day...

One thing I do remember is re-approaching K-cute while she was waiting in line for the coat check. Apparently she was getting her wallet to buy a drink. This girl was pretty demure. Anyway I keep chatting with her and a guy comes up to her. I think it was a random approach from earlier or might have been social circle but he finds out what she’s doing. He tells K-cute he’ll pay for her drink and takes her to the bar. Lame. But it’s alright b/c she’s not that hot and a bit drunk so it’s hard to keep her focused on me.

More time passes and I see them on the dance floor. I post up at a small standing table by the side and just watch them dance. I was pretty surprised; the guy that bought her the drink could really dance (by himself). But I was pretty sure she was into me as well b/c I would look at her every once in a while and smile, and she would look back and smile at me as well. When she finished dancing, I re-opened K-cute. I don’t remember what I told K-cute, but I grabbed her hand and managed to drag her all the way to the other side of the club (quieter bar area).

I think we were there for 5 minutes or so. But she was pretty drunk at this point and the interaction lost momentum and I lost interest. So I let her go back to dance.

Fast forward to the end of the night, I enter the elevator with my friends. And who do I see? The 3 k-girls with 2 white Germans.

I can’t remember what we talked about in the elevator, but I do remember that K-drunk was blatantly hitting on me (literally and figuratively). But before the elevator ride I saw her kiss one of the Germans. That did not help her image with me.

I wanted to go home but I had to wait for my friend and his GF to go home. Unfortunately the German guy found out that my friend’s GF was German as well and so they HAAAD to talk.

During this time, K-drunk took the opportunity to reopen me. She started going on about how I was being difficult about giving her my number earlier. Which I thought was super odd. I never discussed anything about phone numbers with her. She then went on about texting/calling me the next day, while grabbing my upper arm and touching me. Which I nodded at, and hoped desperately that my friends would finish so we could leave.

Yeah, I am so not a fan of drunken girls. It is possible that there was some other Asian guy she was mixing me up with. But I doubt it; in which case K-drunk desperately wanted my phone number. I feel a bit bad that K-drunk wanted it so much, but not too bad. :P I can’t believe how blatant she was about it though.

FR #11 Fun Times :)

2010-09-27T12:00:00.001+08:00

Thoughts:

Shit Test: I often get asked “How often do you come here?” Is telling girls I go out every weekend low value? Are they trying to see if I am a player (hunting for sex)? Possible shit test?

Saturday Night

Life is super funny. I have been thinking about the nature of clubs and tables for the past two weeks. On Saturday I got to experience a little bit of it. I texted a friend on Saturday night and she invited me to come meet her “friends” (most of them her boyfriends’ friends).

I meet my friend at a restaurant. They were eating dinner and I arrived just about the same time they finish eating. It was a U-booth shape, lucky for me my friend was second to the last. Her BF was at the end. After a quick intro between her BF and me, I start chatting with my friend and catching up. We have fun talking and gossiping. We talk pretty much until they are ready to leave, at which point another guy turns around and recognizes me. The guy is actually a good friend of another female friend. The Shanghai foreigner scene is so inbred…


Love FamilyMart. But in China the food's better at Lawsons.....

We go off to my friends’ bf’s house for some pre-drinking. But before then we head off to a FamilyMart to get mixers. At the restaurant I didn’t introduce myself yet. Probably a mistake but I don’t like that whole introduce yourself 1-by-1, and I didn’t get a clear intro by my friend in the beginning.

Anyway I introduce and meet the other party members, one by one, on the way to the store and to his house. The intro’s and subsequent conversations aren’t the best but they’ll do. Man I haven’t been socializing with new people in a long time. It doesn’t help that their group is so tight with each other.

We play drinking games at his house and I was pretty anti-social. Should of worked harder to be social, but was unsure of myself. Need to work on being consciously friendly, but didn’t want to be try hard.

-_-

This group of friends is really interesting. Could have some interesting guys that I could learn from.

One guy is a more typical HK frat boy from America. Has strong body language, dominant, and high energy fun. Feel threatened by him a little. Probably a good sign to stick even closer to him. Don’t know if he gets laid though.


Oh man. Anyone remember that scene where Rob Schneider had to date that girl with Tourette... Hilarious.

Another guy is the local “man whore” of the group. Apparently since coming to Shanghai (from America), he has turned into a slut with a taste for local girls. He told me that the trick was to make local girls feel that they are the only ones for you. Definitely need help with that. I need to ask him for more information.

Didn’t have much time to vibe or interact with those two. So couldn’t get their contact info. Hopefully I will have more opportunities in the future.

Interestingly enough during the club scene didn’t see those two interact with girls outside of the group. They stuck mostly together or in the same area. But maybe I was too busy talking to other girls to notice. Needs further investigation.

I opened a bunch of groups and had a lot of fun. A lot of them didn’t stick. Maybe it was too crowded, too much alcohol, I’m not sure.

The best interaction of the night was near the end of the night.

My new friends apparently knew another group on the second floor. And so we all went upstairs to meet them. I was much friendlier here, meeting and talking to new guys. I am still unsure how I should treat girls at tables in clubs. I don’t want to threaten the table guys or make them jealous by talking to “their” girls.

I was pretty buzzed/drunk at this point so I don’t remember everything that happened in detail. But I do remember talking to this really tall girl and then getting introduced to this HK guy from San Francisco. He was actually pretty cool and told me that two of the girls there are his “sisters” and that I should treat them well. Possibly a good guy to get to know and learn from. Anyway I chat with one girl and she finds out that I am Korean. She immediately drags her friend from the table and introduces me to her. It turns out the girl studies Korean language in South Korea.

This girl’s BT (Buying Temperature) was suuuuper high. Honestly she wasn’t the hottest girl and she was a bit drunk. But boy does she know how to make a guy feel like a pimp. Her hands were pretty much all over my chest, shoulders, and arms.


Sure we can be language exchange partners....

She told me she likes all “Korean guys” and that all Korean guys are players. Also that she’s a nice girl. She’s only had a part time job in Korea. She doesn’t work in China. She’s had two Korean bf’s. She asks if I will date her.

Things I told her: I’m not a player. Most girls in China I meet are players. I don’t like the fact that she’ll date any/all Korean guys. It’s too fast for me. Slow down a bit.

At one point I remember I had my hand on her lower back, with her face to mine an inch apart. And we had a loot of sexual tension. I wanted to see if I could get her to break it. And she did. She totally went in for the kiss. I probably could of gone for the make out but I don’t know if it would make her/me seem like a slut or release too much sexual tension.

I do remember ignoring her a lot of the time while still holding onto her and touching her. I’ve read that quite often some girls want sexual power over guys and once you give in, they go cold. So I tried to stay cool. She really wanted my attention but I didn’t give it to her, as I was talking to the other guys at the table. I remember that she was sitting on my left leg, grinding on it, while I talked to the guy on my right.

The guys at the table were encouraging me to escalate it further with the girl. What a weird table. Haha. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Later on I didn’t even notice that my original group had all left.

Didn’t have enough time (I don’t think the girl had enough sense) to screen/qualify. So I left it as is.

Eventually decided to leave, and tried to get the girl to come get some food with me. No go, as she had to make sure her friend was ok. Said my goodbyes and left.

Some of the original group of people I was with, probably think I am a huuuge player now. As one guy said multiple witnesses saw me making out with the girl. I wonder how that rumor got started. As I only kissed the girl once, and in fact she kissed me. But still very ego validating! It’s super nice to have nights like these happen, even if they are rare.

2010-09-20T12:00:00.023+08:00

Personal Thoughts 1:

Is social circle the key to getting laid in China?

All PUA’s go on about leading an exciting life. Isn’t an “exciting life” subjective? When is enough, really enough?

Need to find more/better wings and social group.

What can I offer Chinese high status girls/differentiate myself from other AFC’s?

Is gaming tables a losing game?

Chinese Clubs and tables:

Ah Sky Club. Haven't been there in such a long
time... Too bad I'm such a cheap bastard! haha.

Lately I’ve been thinking about Chinese clubs a lot. Pretty much the only places I’ve been to a club is in Shanghai. However every time I go these clubs are still frustrating and fascinating. Despite myself I can’t help but be interested in how people interact in clubs (well as long as the girls are hot). I can spend a good amount of time and enjoy myself watching: trying to figure out attraction, fashion, social dynamics, etc. But I have a lack of experience as I have no regular access to tables at clubs. I’m poor, my friends are poor, a lot of friends don’t like clubs, etc.

In afterthought, maybe it isn’t such a good thing being a nerdy and voyeuristic armchair anthropologist. But anyway I am getting off point.

I find myself drawn to these tables mostly because of the sheer amount of hot girls at them (Another 80/20 relationship? 80% at tables, 20% not). The vast majority of high status girls are at these tables and rarely do I see them at the bar or split off from tables. In fact waiting for them to go to the bathroom doesn’t work very well either, as these girls seem to have a huuuge bladder. Here are my thoughts on table culture in China.

Table groups divide into two discernable groups. Both have really hot girls.

Interestingly enough, most girls (and guys) at these tables are not having fun. A lot of them look bored and exclusively check their phones. So what’s going on at these tables? Why are they there? What are they looking for? Is it money, free drinks, boyfriend, fun, etc.?

Last night on Friday, I got blown out a shit load by table girls. They would not give me the time of day. I wonder what was off about me or if that is a natural reaction from table girls. Not enough reference points, will have to try again.

Personal Thoughts 2:

How to successfully meet/attract table girls?

-if you are boring or quiet: immediately cut off

-looks, if you are poorly dressed: immediately cut off

Do I need to be super social (or look social) at a club to successfully open table girls?

Hmm... I wonder where in China these girls
are hanging out.... On second thought this picture
isn't very flattering. But I'm too lazy to change it!

If I don’t want to compete at “Bigger, Better, Deal”, how am I going to compete when tables are all about the “BBD”? If you want to know about BBD, I'm sure you can find it on the AsianRake's site. If not probably email him. I'm too lazy to google it right now.

Some questions I don’t know if I’ll ever figure out:

What’s going on at these tables?

Who is getting laid?

And if they are getting laid, are they getting laid regularly?

A friend forwarded me an article about Deliberate Practice ß Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin

I realize I haven’t been practicing specific parts of my game. Maybe I should. I have just been going out and I’m not sure if I am getting better or not. So I made a list of sticking points I have and want to improve on. I’ll pick 1-2 to work on exclusively. Need to make a plan of how to practice these aspects and stick to it.

Sticking Points/Things I want to work on:

-Approaching

Moving Targets

Tables

Not waiting for the “right moment”

Not approaching enough

-Sexualizing

being able to have strong EC, triangular gaze, State transfer ß naturally and unconsciously

-Asking too many questions

Being boring

Being more fun and spontaneous

BT spiking, attraction

-SNL’s

-Screening/Qualifying (Believability)

-Voice Projection

-Bomber Openings

-Cold Reads

The Cube

-Teasing

-Being too needy

-Saw in your LR’s how often you would contact girls, in comparison I am starting to see that I am way too needy

-Having real standards

-Flaking girls

-Chasing Girls

-Phone Game

-locking in and moving girls around

FR #10 Finally! Pickup isn't impossible, just hard!

2010-09-13T12:00:00.000+08:00

Rocky is such a fun movie to watch! Classic.

I finally fully closed (i.e. had sex) a girl. Although I haven’t seen the girl since, maybe I waited too long to call or message. I waited about 6 days before messaging her again. And after all that talk about her not liking guys that message/call so often... But I guess I took her words too literally and that she was using some sort of girl logic.

I wonder if there are any guidelines to contact girls once you have sex with them. I don’t want them to feel like a slut afterwards but I don’t want to come off as needy by constantly trying to contact them.

One thing I’m starting to notice is that most girls (I have been with) enjoy sex much more than I am. It could also be because I am a novice and I am still feeling a lot of pressure for me to perform. It’s still too early to say: sample size is still too small.

Believability is surprisingly hard. When I first started I never thought this would be such a problem. I thought attraction would be much harder (still hard but not impossible). I remember reading AR’s Believability article a long time ago and thought it was interesting and just mentally putting it aside. I’m beginning to see why believability is so important. Might be a part of the reason why I’m having a hard time getting second/third dates (or I probably lost all the attraction value with her).

Don't Want To Chase Girls!

I always feel after the first date the relationship situation is very one sided. I don’t feel there is an impetus for girls to see me. It’s always me chasing after girls trying to set up and arrange a time. And girls always say: “I’m not sure, I’ll call you, I don’t know if I have time right now.” Is it because they are not attracted anymore? I think it’s fine if the girl is honestly busy. However they don’t put any effort into working with me to make a time that fits both of us and that is really frustrating. I wonder if this falls into the tactics/tricks that Chinese girls play on boys.

Don't Want to be the Nice Guy!

I no longer wish to be the
nice guy!

A lot of the girls I meet think I am: cute, honest, interesting, and have a good personality (most often I hear cute and honest). It’s not hot or “he makes me want to take off my panties right now,” but for now I’ll take what I can and work on getting to that point. I’m still not sure if this is the image I want to play up. I feel that these are very common traits and will not appeal to higher status girls.

Some girls I meet at clubs often say: “there are prettier girls out there.” They try to direct me to meet other girls. I wonder what’s going on. Is it a problem of attainability? Girls don’t think they deserve me. Or is it a test? Or do they just want to get rid of me?

I guess I might be going to a certain club too often. One of my friend’s (guyA) friend (girlB) was telling a new friend (guyC) that I was a “girl chaser.” I’m not sure what the exact phrase was because the girl is a local Chinese and guyC is European so who knows what kind of translation I’m getting. Should I be worrying about this kind of reputation? Being known as a girl chaser doesn’t really indicate standards. And that bothers me more than being known as a playboy. I do have standards and not just any girl will do. Maybe I’m worried about nothing.

Leave your Ego at the Door!

Thank you AR for pointing out my ego. I didn’t realize my ego was getting in my way. I now have the mentality of: “if she gets me hard then I have to admit it and act.” It never occurred to me that part of the reason I was so fixated on physical beauty was to bolster my ego in front of other people. I’m very curious as to what other things my ego is stopping me from achieving?

My friend brought up a good point. Often times at places (not my bedroom) I’ll go for a kiss. He said that it was a bad idea in that it releases sexual tension and that it’s more of a validation for the guy. To make sure the girl is into you. I’ll have to agree to that for now, part of the reason why I go for the kiss is for the validation. The part of me that needs validation from the girl feels weak. Is going for the kiss outside of my bedroom hurting me?

Eye contact can be really really strong technique. I was at this club once just chilling against the wall and I managed to make the girl (sitting at a table 4 feet away) come to me just using strong eye contact. I maintained my gaze and looked somewhere else after she broke off EC. This would go on for about 4 minutes and she actually came over to me and started asking about me. Unfortunately the girl was pretty drunk, middle aged, and not that pretty. But still really really cool!

Recent Dates

Is there a good way to set up MLTR (Multiple Long Term Relationships)? I’m still in the beginning of relationship building. I don’t say anything about dating other people so I feel a bit guilty. It doesn’t help when the girl brings up cheating, playing around, etc. in a negative light. I’m open to a monogamous relationship, but I don’t want to get stuck so early in the relationship.

I think I messed up on a phone call yesterday. The girl asked me if we were in a relationship straight out. And I stumbled and muttered out no, just getting to know each other. Because very early on I established hand holding and I guess it wasn’t normal for her. Think I failed that test.

How should I act with girls that are taller than me? She told me on the phone that she didn’t like that I was shorter than her. I don’t care. But she does.

Thoughts

Gotta have a realistic goal! Journey of a 1000
miles starts with a single step... and all that Jazz :P

Goal Setting: My past goal of dating 3 new girls a week seems absurd and unrealistic. What is a realistic goal? I did previously set a goal of fully closing a girl in 3 months (1/2 the time it took to fully close last girl) and I have achieved it sooner than expected.

Some stuff I have been doing on my dates recently. Adding more venues/activities/taking it slower on second date’s to increase comfort/believability. Doing the question game and sexualizing in my bedroom. Talking about more personal stories to increase believability.

I am not going for Same Night Lays (SNL). My thought is that I would be wasting time on a precious Friday/Saturday night on one girl, when I could be out meeting many more girls in the venue. A scarcity mentality and also I’m a little unsure of what I need to do to make a SNL happen. It might be time that I make a decision to try for SNL’s. Right now all I have been doing is number closing and trying to get d2’s.

FR #9 Lack of Believability is holding me back?

2010-09-06T12:00:00.000+08:00

I lied. Haha. I still have FR's that are super long. -_-'

FR #9

I’ve had some common D2 experiences.

HBCollege

I bet this girl studies fashion... hehe.

Met HBCollege off the street and had a 5 minute interaction. She’s a student at a fashion/clothes college. We arrange to meet a few days later.

We meet up and go to a coffee shop. Apparently she has about 5 hours before she has to go to a mandatory class about the Great Chairman Mao. Sounds exciting…

End up talking for about an hour. Using something I learned from the AsianRake, I tell her I want to kiss her and do exactly that. Since she has like three more hours before class starts I ask her to watch a movie with me (I mentioned watching a movie earlier) and she readily agrees.

I bring her to my room, start the movie, and twenty minutes later we end up making out. Had some token resistance but eventually she is pretty much naked, with panties around her ankles.

HBCollege is a virgin. I don’t know really what to do with virgins (more on that later), but I suspect she is one because she flinches every time I try to finger her deeper. So as usual I end up with a lackluster hand job. Sigh.

Apparently HBCollege previously only had 1-2 boyfriends and no sex.

I try to contact her in the next few days. She doesn’t answer my calls, but responds to my texts. She said that she was “scared” of me. I felt super bad because I don’t do pickup to scare girls. But I don’t think she wasn’t scared of me per se, more of how fast we progressed sexually. I hope. She no longer responds to my text. I think it’s because I lacked believability.

http://www.doctorasianrake.com/2008/03/believability-the-key-to-elite-game/

Still having trouble with believability…. -_-‘

I’ve had two other girls in the past do this two me as well. I escalate with them sexually very fast and then they want nothing to do with me.

I think the last one really wanted a traditional boyfriend and get married, and could not see herself with me b/c I am a foreigner. No prospect for marriage, and so she decided to keep things platonic.

Some common things in my mind that these girls share

1. 1-2 previous boyfriends

2. Virgins

3. Conservative/nice girl types

Maybe they want a specific kind of traditional Chinese boyfriend?

Japanese Girl

Met her at a Japanese club.

She didn’t wear any make up. Lame. Go through the usual D2.

Now for the interesting part: Went for a kiss, she refused b/c she apparently has a boyfriend. Which I interpreted as: if she didn’t have a BF I would have been kissing her.

I probably shouldn’t but I press for more information. She tells me that her BF is thinking about breaking up with her. Well that was a mood killer. She mentions that she should have worn makeup, and I tell her to wear makeup next time. We stay for a bit longer then leave.

For all I know under that makeup
she could really be a he! @_@
I'm so serial! 10 points if you got
that South Park reference.

She comes out dressed hot: full makeup and cute outfit. Literally a head turner, as guys would turn their heads to stare. The power of makeup is really scary. -_-;

I take her to a Japanese Café. This is the interesting part. She thinks she sees a guy that knows her BF. So she is uncomfortable. She won’t let me sit next to her or anything.

She brought her camera with her and allows me to see a part of it, b/c some parts have pictures of the BF and her. She wants to leave so we finish quickly and I suggest we go to my place because I seeded some things to do.

We stay a bit in my room and she insists that we go to another café because being with me, alone, is “dangerous”.

So we end up going to another café.

I’m very confused as to what she is thinking. I suspect I’m just a backup BF, in case they do break up.

HBRich

I think this girl just has way too much baggage.

Had a very standard D2 and end up kissing her at the end.

From the question game end up finding out that she has had 3 BF’s. Last kiss was with her ex-BF two days previously, which she thought was a mistake.

She invites me to come to her house. HBRich is not from a poor family. Great! One step closer to my dream of having a hot sugar momma. J

She buys me wine and cooks me dinner. We watch a movie. Get massive resistance to escalation. Lose interest and become frustrated. I find out she’s still hung up over her ex-BF from a year ago. They had a 3 year relationship and they ended it b/c the BF thought it would have been better to marry a foreign Chinese girl. Seeing this isn’t going anywhere and it’s a bit awkward, I go home confused after finishing the movie.

Post-D3

HBRich is always busy and is reluctant to meet up. She encourages me to find another girl because we are not “suitable”.

Where are all the pretty girls with no baggage and mental hang-ups?

D2 Thoughts

I’m still confused as to how much physicality is appropriate with girls. When I first meet a girl I don’t go for too much physical contact. But as we get on towards D2’s and it is just the two of us, should I still be very conservative with physical contact?

i.e. nothing overtly sexual until I get her into my bedroom.

Usually on my D2’s I have lots of incidental contact and by the end usually I have my arm around her waist, with her leaning onto me. Is this too much?

Brother, Can I get an Amen here?
Preaching to the Choir....

Recently I’ve also been going for more kiss in the places I take girls. Sometimes I get it on the first try, but usually I persist and go for it again in a few minutes. But I’m wondering if it sets a bad precedent to keep trying for a kiss: in that she controls when we get sexual. Right now my reasoning is that if I don’t show overtly that I am interested in sex via kissing girls won’t understand that I’m not interested in just a platonic friendship.

Whenever I get resistance either verbally or physically I always fall in the trap of trying to reason with the girl. It never works. . . and I always do it because I want to understand what she is thinking. But I’m starting to think that she doesn’t know either. I always lose momentum to and my mood is killed. Any methods to recover from this?

I know I should always keep it light and fun. But sometimes I just do not understand what these girls are thinking. I haven’t tried freeze outs yet. I’m a bit afraid the girl will just leave if I do freeze her out. But I think I need to push to do freeze outs not just in the bedroom but in D2’s as well.

Girls have been telling me I say sweet things and flowery words on my D2’s. Which is true but often it’s what I’m thinking and honest. I wonder if this affects my believability in a negative way, as in too much of a playerish vibe. Apparently most Asian men don’t do this.

Also I still ask way too many questions. I’m generally curious about the girls I meet on dates. But it must feel like I’m interrogating them as they mention that I am very curious and ask a lot of questions. I think this is hurting me on my dates.

Right now I’m getting more D2’s, but not getting D3’s. I try to schedule a D3 at the end of the date but they usually tell me they are busy or not sure. Very flaky behavior.

A lot of the girls mention that they need to know a guy a long time and be friends first before they date and get physical. I wonder if this is a problem of the type of girls I’m meeting: the nice and conservative type. Or if this is just typical girl BS meaning I don’t have enough value with the girl.

General Thoughts

I’m really trying to avoid being needy.

I seem to meet and date these really “nice” conservative girls with very little sexual experience. It’s frustrating for me because they have these strong ideas about BF/GF relationships. A lot of the girls I meet are “virgins”. Is there an easy way to screen out virgins? I have heard nothing good about meeting this type of girl. My impression is that they want much more than I am willing to give. I’m still at quite a loss trying to figure out party girls.

Got AMOGed for the first time at a night club by a ABC. He grabbed me by the neck with his hand and pulled me down (supposed to be a friendly gesture, but I know what is going on). It was very physically aggressive on his part. I understand it is a dominance thing, but I wonder if he does it on purpose. Also was winging for my friend at the time and he got into my wing’s set. Tried to break him out of the set by getting his attention but he physically shrugged me off and kept going at it with the girl. Wasn’t quite sure what to make of these two situations.

Also had my first frame control battle with a hot girl was really interesting. Opened up a hot girl on the street with a direct interest, we introduced ourselves, and I asked the girl about herself. Her response was to keep asking me where I was from. I told her that it was rude that she didn’t want to engage in a dialogue with me. She agreed that it was rude and I left. Could not be bothered with that.

Some girls suggest that I try to date a different girl while on D2’s. I wonder if they are being serious, I don’t have enough value, or if they are testing me.

Recently I’ve been wondering if I have been giving up too soon with girls. Like if a girl doesn’t show some signs of interest in me I lose attraction for that girl. But maybe this is a test Asian girls throw to weed out guys? I don’t know. I am confused…

FR #8 I think this is the last FR that's worth a week full of writing....

2010-08-30T12:00:00.001+08:00

FR #8

Thoughts – I realized that (or at least I think) that the girls I meet are placing the idea of “boyfriend” onto me. Often times I’ll get “we can’t communicate”. We can’t communicate = slotted into boyfriend category? Communication is important for boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.

Also when I ramp up physically I will get: “You are not my boyfriend. Only boyfriends can touch, kiss, etc.” How can I be considered the hot lover? At least I am not being let’s just be friends, weirdo category.

Halloween Approach Thoughts

Went out with cool friends from work, had a blast. It is definitely a lot more fun having cool people around you. Approached girls, didn’t see any that were worth approaching. But chatted up the girls next to me, got them interested in me, got bored, and passed them off to my co-workers. Later on did the same with a new group of girls. Approached another girl dressed up as a sailor, talked for 4 minutes, moved her to the other side were my friends were. Introduced her to the girls I was talking to before and my friends. Lost interest, and let it fizzle out.

Dress Poorly

I couldn’t tell the difference between being dressed poorly and dressed well. But I do know that it makes a difference. I remember distinctly in the past, that I was dressed poorly and approached a girl. Before I got a chance to say something, she looked me up and down (quite blatantly), and turned around and ignored me.

So what you can get away with depends on the girl, but dressing well only helps, while dressing poorly can only be a negative.

Day 2’s

Bad Driver’s License Picture Girl

Finally met up with the girl, after 4 weeks of texting, I was starting to give up hope. Told her to meet me at 9, I think she misheard and came at 10. But was no real big deal b/c I was hanging out with friends nearby.

Love sweets! Too bad it goes straight
to my ass... Thanks Mom for that DNA
bomb shell....

As soon as I met her I asked her for my chocolate present. She just came back from Germany on a business trip. She told me she forgot, and so I asked for something sweeter and pointed at my cheek. She got a bit flustered, but declined. So I dropped the subject and talked about something else, leading her to my friends bar.

It’s a two floor place: bar on 2^nd floor, café on 1^st. I bring her up to the 2^nd floor and introduce her to the owner. Asked her what she wanted to drink, she wanted a grape juice saying she didn’t handle alcohol too much. I told her to drink a White Russian with me, and she agreed.

We went back downstairs and sat at a 90 degree angles. We started talking and I tried to screen and qualify her.

At one point, I was tired of waiting for my drink so I went up myself and brought them down.

I asked her how it was. And she recognized and told me what alcohol was in it. Teased her about saying she wasn’t good with alcohol, when she knew what was in the drink, which I couldn’t do. Talked about palm reading, kept talking and SHE didn’t let go of my hand for about 2 minutes.

Brought down a mental puzzle/game told her to solve it. Said I liked smart girls, and that this was a test for her. Of course she solved it J.

I was getting cold and wanted more incidental kino, so told her to “Get closer, I’m cold” at which she complied.

Wanted to switch places, and tried to get her to my home, but she declined said it was too late. I told her to come walk me home b/c I’d be lonely (she was going to take a cab home) and she quickly agreed.

At one point, we were about to jay walk across a busy intersection. Put my hand behind me and she grabbed it and we quickly crossed. I think she got self conscious about holding hands. As we got to the end, it looked like she realized we were holding hands and she abruptly took it back.

Fuckin' Hawaiian Rainbow Rocks!

Somehow we got to talking about drivers licenses. She told me she had one, and I said I didn’t believe her. She quickly took out her wallet and showed part of her license. Apparently the picture was bad so she didn’t want to show it. Of course I just had to see it then. Haha. And on the premise that I wanted to “read it” got closer and snatched it. We roughhoused over the license for like what seemed like 4 minutes. She kept putting her hand over my eyes so I wouldn’t see the horrible picture, haha, while I had my hands behind me holding her license.

I didn’t go for the kiss, was too much in my head thinking what the best thing would be to do. Considered asking for a trade, kiss for license. But I knew in my stomach this was a weak position and despite that it would probably work, I didn’t want to go for an easy out. I probably should of just done it. Anyway the moment passed and my opportunity was missed.

She complains about it being far away, and I tell her it is really nearby. We reach the front gate, and I invite her up. She declines, and heads straight for the nearest taxi. I try to convince her to keep walking with me, but no good. Probably should have stopped, as I was being needy. But sometimes I get caught up in the moment and my head stops working.

The Girl Who Likes Vampires – got her number after a brief 5 minute conversation at a college party

If Jun Ji-Hyun were a vampire,
she could bite me anytime...

On Halloween I get this text message:

Her: HAPPY HALLOWEEN J

Me: Are you being Naughty or Nice :P

Her: of course nice, I’m always nice J

Me: Oh how boring

Her: just kidding, I’m not so nice

Me: Oh? What naughty thing are you doing then?

Her: today is ur holiday. I do nothing, just enjoy my lonely evening

After that text message I immediately called her. Asked what she was doing she said nothing. Asked me what I was doing, I waffled around a bit, trying to work up the nerve to ask her directly here. Eventually mumble out watch a scary movie for Halloween and invite her over. She says ok and tells me to text her an address.

She arrives and I meet up with her. Immediately she gives me a chocolate bar and says “Happy Halloween”. We walk towards my place. I ask her about some food she has.

Me: What’s that?

Her: My breakfast.

So I’m thinking wow this girl wants sex. Does this girl really want sex? Is it really going to be this easy?

She apologizes to me, just in case I was breaking any prior commitments. I said not really.

We get up to my place, she comes into my room. I offer a choice of scary movie or a funny movie. She picks a scary movie. I turn off the lights and turn on the movie. I lie down comfortably on my bed, and she sits in a chair. I ask what she’s doing, and she says the tv is clearer from the chair. I tell her she’s weird and come sit on the bed. She does so, but is still visibly uncomfortable.

About 30 minutes into the movie, she starts to relax a bit more and starts to lie down on the bed, but with her legs dangling over the side.

I tell her that she looks uncomfortable, and physically bring her legs over on to the bed. She objects but gives in.

She keeps asking me about my age. And tells me she is 30. I tell her I’m 23. She was uncomfortable about the age difference

We go back to talking, she’s lying down with her back propped up and me on my back.

Somehow we end up talking about our favorite shows and after she put in a lot of effort in explaining it to me. I used that as an opportunity/reward and put my hand on her thigh. All the while we kept talking I played/drew circles on her leg.

I guess she realized suddenly her attraction because she suddenly sat up. Looked at her phone saying she had a text message and said her friend needed her in twenty minutes. She stayed another 40 minutes, haha. Her phone had no indication of any txt arriving. I probably shouldn’t have but I called her on it. She said she deleted it. Haha.

Anyone else tried
reading this book and
found it a bit
too stimulating?

She moved over to the chair. While I stayed on my bed.

At one point we were describing sexual fantasies to each other. I told her mine, and then got her to tell me hers. She did ask me why she had to tell me. And I said b/c I told her mine. She stated to protest, but I convinced her that I didn’t share such secret stuff with any person. Half-way through she just stopped. I wonder why. She already gave me the barebones of it. A cabin in a forest on a full moon, etc. But as I got her to tell me more and more details, she stopped.

I brought up the subject of Chinese girls being horrible kissers. She asks about my sexual experiences. I tried to change the subject, but ended up giving out some random number. I try to get a kiss with “how good of a kisser 1-10”, she says 5. I go in for a kiss and she laughs uncomfortably and refuses.

At this point, she got up to ask about the view from my room. I told her I liked my view, and I opened the curtains for her. She opened the window, and took a look up. She made some comment about the moon. I took that as an opportunity to come up beside her to her right, and my left arm wrapping around her body to the window still.

She said we were too close, but I ignored it and started to talk to her about the moon. And she kind of forgot about it for a few minutes. She went back to the chair and I went back to the bed.

I would say throughout the night, she was nervous and tense. So I talked about massages and gave her one, despite initial protests. Then got her to give me a massage (It was horrible though).

All of a sudden she decides she has enough, and tries to leave. I try to get her to stay longer. But no go. Eventually, I just let her.

Random Things I learned about her: She might have a mental issue, she doesn’t go out in the daytime. As far as taking a shower at dusk. She might be a bisexual ß talked about how she liked kissing girls, but likes having sex with guys. I think she’s just afraid of guys for some reason. Can’t look at people straight in the eye for more than 2 seconds. Weird.

Anyway I text her about meeting her next time. She replied that she won’t see me b/c I scare her. I can’t tell if she is afraid of me physically or she’s afraid of the attraction she feels.

Graduate Student

Called her up, and tried to get a meeting for 9pm. She tells me it’s much too late. I ask about that. Bad habit of mine trying to be logical. Sigh. Somehow she suggests meeting for dinner, earlier at 6pm. But I tell her it’s too early, because I’m meeting friends. And I suggest meeting at 8pm, which she agrees to.

Hah. I know nothing to do with the story.
But anyway I find it hilarious! I love
demotivational pictures.

Wow an hour difference, suddenly makes it ok. I tell her to treat me for dinner, b/c she couldn’t make it for coffee last time. I tell her to wear something pretty and wear the necklace that she made. To which she replies: “I’ll bring the necklace, but I won’t wear it b/c it won’t match my jacket.” At the end she asks me if it is a “date”, and I tell her “It’s whatever you want it to be.”

We had a standard dinner date.

Couldn’t find a reason to sit side by side, so had to sit across each other.

But after dinner, I excuse myself to go the bathroom. When I come back I grab my book and sit next to her, saying I was going to test her English.

After that more talking on what I thought was a high point, I put my hand on her thigh. She stops, clears her throat, and points to my hand. I take my hand off and keep going as if nothing happened.

Later on in the conversation she tells me that in China, guys and girls that meet in the beginning don’t sit next to each other side by side.

And I tell her that I don’t care what other people think; only my opinion and those of my close friends do. I ask her if she cares. And she tells me she doesn’t. Only that in China it doesn’t happen.

The place is closing, so I try to bounce her to my place. No go. I walk her to a park on the way to the subway. Try to grab her hand and lead. But she says I’m not her boyfriend, and that unless I’m her boyfriend that we can’t do that kind of stuff. Brush it off, change the subject, and talk about something else. I know she is attracted, so when we part I try to get a kiss on the cheek. No go, again. We part ways.

Statistics –

I’m not quite sure what kind of statistics I should be keeping. But I generally keep a track of phone numbers.

Since I’ve started recording it on excel I’ve gotten 64 numbers. I’ve met 10 of them for Day 2’s.

Bijogoyomi - Everyday Japanese Girls

2010-08-25T21:06:00.000+08:00

Devout/avid readers of my blog will have undoubtedly notice the addition of a new widget on the right. B/c its all in Japanese I thought I should mention explain a bit.

Basically it's a calendar (if you are familiar with any East Asian languages, I'm sure you figured it out!).
Not just any calendar. But a calendar that shows you a picture of a new Japanese girl everyday. A girl that you would be able to find walking the city in a place like Tokyo or Osaka. Click on the girl and you'll be led to a site that has even more pictures.

Sigh... What fun I could have in Japan. Too bad it's so damn expensive over there. Anyway go use it for visualizations or something. Haha.

You people outside of China are very lucky. It takes forever to load.... I'm sure it'll be much faster outside of the Great Fire-Wall of China. Anyway that widget will be here until it passes out of my fancy or until I find something better. :P

FR #7 Another Week's worth of interactions! Lucky You :P

2010-08-23T12:00:00.000+08:00

This is another long one...

FR #7

My club interactions have been getting longer and longer. I have no idea why. Maybe it was just that particular day? I mean I didn’t feel any different. Could it be because of the type of girls I’m approaching, or perhaps I no longer feel that I have to run my mouth the whole time to keep the girl there. The girl will still be there regardless of whether I shoot my mouth or not, because she is attracted to me.

Not too many memorable approaches this week.

In Club Approach # 1 Vacationing Japanese girl

I open a girl getting a beer next to me, asking about her vacation. We are standing side by side at the bar. She tells me she is from what I assumed was Hongkou, an area in Shanghai. We talk, and I try to screen her. At a certain point her two friends, guy and girl, say they are going to another part of the club. The girl I’m talking to makes motions to follow, but I tell her to stay that I want to talk to her some more. She stays, awesome.

I know she isn't Japanese.
But damn Im Ji Hye is hot!

On a high point I try to get her number. But she tells me she doesn’t have a phone. I ask about that, and she says her friend has a cellphone, and that it’s expensive to use her phone. At this point I was pretty confused, and she clears it up by explaining she is visiting from Hong Kong. Oh, now it makes sense. So I get her skype details, see if I can get her to meet me another day.

Also I get a bit more excited, b/c I always hear girls on vacation are more promiscuous. But I kind of feel that it will be too difficult to pull off at my current level because the logistics are shit, she has no cellphone and stays in the same room as her friends.

I move her to outside the club, saying I couldn’t hear her very well. We keep talking and I get her to explain a lot of stuff. At another point, her friends come out to find her saying that they were worried about not being able to find her. We introduce ourselves, and they give a knowing look to the girl and each other, the “it looks like my friend is trying to hook up”, and tell her she’s going back in.

We talk a bit more. And I try to mention another venue. But she says she can’t, she has no phone, and she doesn’t know where her hotel is. Eventually I tell her I want to kiss her. She puts a bit of token resistance, but I persist and get a kiss on her cheek.

I know I could have gotten way more but I think two major things were holding me back:

A) Not enough connection. I think she was attracted, but not enough to be comfortable with me

B) No isolation. Too self conscious about kissing in view of people

Eventually a few minutes later, her friends come out and they leave. Unfortunately didn’t have a way to meet up with her before she left.

In Club approach # 2 Chinese student

Open a girl couple, again at the bar. I said something in English in which she promptly brought out her friend to trade places with her. She wasn’t confident about her English. I talk to her about some wimpy dude liking her friend. I try to converse with her but she can’t hear me at all. So she loses interest after a while and moves off a bit with her friend to go dancing.

I leave the club, b/c the cigarette smoke is making me gag. And I see the 2 girls again, and I reopen b/c despite the previous interaction she was still very friendly. And I get a good response, which now I think was a false positive, meaning she wasn’t really interested in me. Why do I think this? Because she left me to go talk to a white guy.

Anyway I talk to my original target of the two. And she, unlike her friend, can hear me fairly well. Unfortunately she didn’t speak much English. It was cute, she got very flustered trying to communicate me. Tried to get her to move, but she would not leave her friend. Damn 2 girls are always hard to split up. Went back to screening. At some point, I tried to get her number. She said she would think about it: “xiang yi xiang”. I thought she would give it to me, but now that I think about it, “I’ll think about it” whether in English or Chinese usually means no. Haha.

At some point in the interaction she started to shake my arm, trying to get me to dance. She was dancing on my left side, and I wasn’t dancing. I wonder if she did it because she was uncomfortable or wanted my attention? When I asked again later, she said it was a bad idea b/c she didn’t speak English very well. I know she was attracted but she actually screened me out b/c we couldn’t communicate well.

In club approach # 3 Korean girl

This had no game in it at all. But I think it was worth mentioning b/c this was my first club make out. I opened this Korean girl, and suddenly her Japanese friend interrupts and takes over the conversation, saying she knows me. For about 5 minutes I talk with her, trying to establish how we know each other.

Eventually she goes to talk to another guy friend. And I get a chance to reopen the girl I was talking to. I try to screen/qualify but she’s not really into the conversation. Throughout the conversation I gradually notice that she’s into me. So I grab her hand, and sit at the bar with her in front of me. I test her by telling her to kiss my cheeks. I get it very easily so I pull her in for a full kiss, and I get very little resistance.

She tells me I’m “cute” a lot. Fun times. I try to move her to a different venue. But she will not leave her friend. Fuuuuuck. But I did get her to buy me some ice cream at the convenience store. Awesome, a make out and free ice cream. J

Hallelujah! Success! I'm not hopeless after all!

So basically the whole reason she made out with me is because she thought I was “cute”. It’s not as good as being “hot”, but hey I’ll take what I can get. That interaction was funny b/c the whole night my girl was helping her friend to get with a white guy in her social circle (did not happen btw).

So that night I was the random club make out guy. I just wish I did a better job screening and making a connection, so she would come meet me another day. Despite that it’s awesome for my self-esteem. I have never considered myself handsome, but this means that I am not ugly.

Funniest Approach of the Week

I saw a really pretty girl with her mother/grandmother that I knew I had to open in the mall. So I followed them for a bit, hoping they would stop at a store so I can open the girl. I had no clue how I should talk to the girl. Unfortunately they didn’t stop until they reached the metro station (very crowded) where they had to recharge the grandmother’s transportation card.

So I decide to open with a genuine interest direct. I can immediately see when the girl looks at me and that she will be receptive to whatever I say. She had this blank interested look on her face. So I start my opener on her and midway through her grandmother starts yelling “buyao buyao buyao”.

What would the world
be like without cock-
blocking grandmas?

This threw me for a loop, and I froze up for a second. And went into chump mode b/c I was uncomfortable with her yelling at me while I was talking to the girl. Ended up asking her “do you speak English”. Then decided that it was too much trouble and ejected.

As I left I hear the girl saying “Do you speak English” to her grandmother. Probably wasn’t the best place to open, maybe it would have been better to open them earlier where it was less crowded. But I kind of have the feeling the grandmother would have cock blocked me no matter what.

Cool Approach of the Week

Saw a girl on the way home on a traffic overhead bridge. I saw she was on the phone. I’ve had no clue what to do with girls on the phone, but read somewhere on the interwebz that telling a girl to turn off the phone works. So I was dying to try out.

So I stop above her on the stairs. And tell her to get off the phone. It worked. Haha. I can’t believe it did, but it does work.

Day 2 Jekyll and Hyde Girl

She calls me up and invites me to play pool with her and her friends. I agree but I took my time to get there. About an hour late, lol. Anyway I call her up before I arrive and tell her to meet me outside. So she waits for me and she meets me once I arrive.

When I see her, I am SUPER shocked. She was wearing no makeup. NONE. To say she was less attractive without her makeup is an understatement. My motivation to go on a date was thrown out the window.

Thought this couldn't possible be real... I was wrong... There are girls out there
that do the whole Jekyll/Hyde thing in certain lighting.... @_@

She takes me to this really nice pool hall: bright, clean, and freshly painted.

She brings me over to meet her girlfriend and her respective Japanese middle aged boyfriend.

I don’t play pool and neither does she. So for the next 15 minutes, we talk sitting on a couch. Sitting side by side.

It was typical chump conversation. Was distracted and couldn’t focus. But I did remember to try to get her to go someplace else: tried coffee, or ice cream. She was a bit reluctant, saying she was tired, had to go home and put her stuff away.

Eventually the other couple finish, and we all left. The other couple went to KTV and asked the girl what she wanted to do, which she wasn’t sure of. Coffee was recommended by her friend.

We leave and I said lets go for a walk while we decide what to do. Asked her if there were any parks in the area. She didn’t know. But we find one anyway. Not a good place to isolate so we just walk around a bit.

I could eat Strawberry Ice Cream
all day long...

She remembers an ice cream shop and worries about it being closed. But we take it and go to some kind of Chinese ice cream shop. I got her to pay for my ice cream b/c she flaked on me before. In the ice cream shop I tried to qualify her, but we were having communication problems. She kept saying ‘fansile’ the whole night, very annoying.

During the mid-point of the ice cream eating, cute girls enter the shop. At which she complains that they are so beautiful and that she feels quite insecure/ugly in comparison. Is this a shit test? Or just her being insecure? I didn’t really know what quite to say, other than thinking ‘you should have put on makeup then’. I ended up acknowledging it and changed the subject. But it came up another 2 times, more cute girls came in.

After we finished, she wanted to drop off her stuff. I told her ok, lets go. Lol. Expectedly she declined, but I convinced her to walk some more with me. At the end , she was getting pretty antsy to go home. But I didn’t let her go without a kiss to the cheek. Which she refused to do. So I persisted and got that kiss on the cheek in the end.

Day 2 Another Virgin Girl

Met up with a busy girl after she finished Toastmasters. Told her to come meet on an intersection right by my house. It sounded like she wanted an early night, so I decided to just try to get her to my place right off the bat.

I remember she said something about liking dogs so I tell her to come to my place. And she agrees. She comes over, get her to sit down on the couch. Of course I sit right next to her. Introduce the dogs, and show her what tricks they can do. Teach her how to get the dogs to do tricks. All the while, I try to screen/qualify her about traveling.

I hear there's a special handshake and
member benefits!

After this, I bring her to my room. Show her pictures. On my laptop. She refuses to sit anywhere and just stands. After the pictures finish I see her stiffen up in my room, I guess she realized that she was alone with me in my bedroom, on the first date.

I then talk about movies and try to get her to relax a bit, by showing her my favorite dvd. It works a tiny bit, but she’s still really uncomfortable and decides to leave. Out in the hallway she calls her dad to come pick her up. That was unexpected, lol. I had nothing to do, so I decided to walk her out back to the intersection.

I kind of had a feeling she was a virgin. So I asked right off the bat and she confirmed that she was. Waited until her dad came, 10 minutes later. While we waited I kept seeding ideas about what we can do for our next meet, and trying to be more playful with her.

Day 2 Confrontational Accountant

Called up a girl who pinged me back several hours later. Got her to come meet me after her dinner with her friends.

Met her by a McDonald’s. Tried to get her to go to my venue. But she was being quite firm and wanted to go in the direction of the subway station so it would be easier to go back home for her. I couldn’t figure out how to sell my venue without being confrontational. It wasn’t going to hurt my meeting, so I agreed to go in the opposite direction towards the mall.

During the walk to the coffee shop, I guided her to the way I wanted to go, etc. But she didn’t see it that way. And told me to stop touching her. Which threw me for a loop, because she said it was random. I’ll have to re-monitor myself, but I have the feeling she might just be a bit off.

We ended up going to a small coffee shop, and we sat down. When it was time to pay, I told her “I’ll get this one and you can get the next one.” To which she replied quite confrontationally “I can pay for my own.” I tried to explain, what I meant. Because I thought maybe she understood less English than I thought. I paid and she didn’t offer to pay for her drink. Changed that subject and went on to screening/qualifying material.

Took a break from qualifying and tried a cold read on her. Something on the lines about her being “Disciplined and controlled on the OUTSIDE, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the INSIDE. “ Very surprisingly she responded “Yeah so what. What’s wrong with that.” Man at this point I was thinking wtf is up with this girl. I wanted to end the meeting and go home, which is what I probably should have done. But I stayed in for another 15 minutes and said I had to go home.

Kept talking with her and at our parting, told her to give me a kiss on the cheek. What was cool was that she actually considered it, I saw her thinking about it, and decided she couldn’t do it. Which I thought meant she was attracted to me despite being so fucking confrontational throughout the whole meet.

Thoughts:

I’m starting to realize that screening/qualifying and making a connection are super important. I feel that if I can master this part, my game can get so much better.

It feels like I am going through my screening/qualifying way too quick. Like going through a checklist and getting it out of the way. Which is no good at all. And I am struggling to make a genuine connection with the girls I am meeting.

But I am not quite sure what I can do to make it better. Is it my mindset that needs to change? Am I missing some simple understanding?

I’m still not quite sure what shit tests are. But I’m starting to think that whenever a girl says something and I get thrown for a loop. That is a shit test. But the confusing thing for me is that often times whatever they said makes no sense to me. I think to myself why is this girl asking this? Is she retarded?

For example, a few days ago I do a genuine direct opener. And about 3 minutes into the interaction she asks me “What do you want from me?” Is this a shit test? This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked this question. But with a genuine direct I would think she knows why I approached her. Very confusing.

At the time I tried to explain to the girl that I wanted to meet her later on the week to get to know her. But I think this was a bad response.

FR #6 Sigh Still Holiday Season in China

2010-08-16T12:00:00.003+08:00

Random Thought of the Day: Today I found myself listening to the theme song of Captain Planet. Even as a kid I thought to myself what a lame superhero Captain Planet is. Too disable him all one would have to do is to throw a little bit of motor oil and he would drop like bricks. Despite that I would still watch that show pretty regularly.

I also always thought Ma-Ti had the lamest power, Heart. Apparently he's supposed to be 12 years old. One of those ambiguous characters, eh? I could never tell whether he was supposed to be a guy or a girl. I still can't tell. I think Ma-Ti is a guy.

Well that's my random thought of the day!

FR #6

Holiday season in Shanghai. Too bad all the hot girls left to go on vacation.

Friday Night - Club

Couldn't be bothered to find a
pic of 4 hot Asians together.
Just imagine 4x of her! Haha.

My biggest regret of this night was the fact that I wimped out and could not approach a group of 4 girls (they were probably models). These are the girls that I want to have relationships with but the thought of having an audience just makes me cringe.

Despite that, this night was half fun and half pathetic.

My two best interactions of this week:

I open a girl at a bar(her girl friend was on the right of her): “Hey I like your bracelets.” At this point we are side to side looking into the bar. She looks at me a bit confused. Then I point at the bracelets again, smile and nod. She understands and thanks me, at which point I ask: “Where did you get them?”

She said from Taiwan. I ask is she’s from Taiwan. She says no and asks where I am from. I make her guess.

Afterwards I screen her for “travel”, and ask where she’s been. You can read more about screening/qualifying at AsianRake's site. He does a great job explaining it:

http://www.doctorasianrake.com/2008/03/believability-the-key-to-elite-game/

She’s been to all of China’s provinces but one. At this point her friend leaves to go to the bathroom. I think the interaction was going well because our body language was turned more into each other like a “V”, and our faces were quite close to each other.

She tells me about her job as an architect in Shanghai. I ask her if I would recognize any of work if I saw it. She tells me some building I have no clue about. But I nod my head and smile.

I’m feeling pretty good about the interaction so I take her number. Then continue to talk with her. She tells me that she is from Xian. Her friend comes back. I try to get her to move somewhere else to talk, outside. But she refuses to go, saying something about not being able to leave her friend. When I point out that her friend just left her. She says that her friend just went to the bathroom. Then I tell her to come with me to the bathroom. I keep smiling at her, but I think she misunderstood in that she thought I wanted her to do something sexual with me at the bathroom. Because she kept telling me that “I think you misunderstood something.” I kept asking her back what she meant, while smiling. But she just had a small nervous smile and shook her head. But in the end I couldn’t get her to come. So being a bit irritated I turned away from her and had my back to my bar.

About 5 minutes later, I can see her staring nervously at this guy. I ask her why she’s staring, and she tells me it’s a Chinese movie star. No clue who. Some 40-something guy. I tell her to stop staring. But I can see she’s visible excited and a bit nervous. I can’t quite remember what we talked about next. But somehow we got back into our original “V” position, and I was getting bored with the interaction, so I pointed and my cheek and told her to kiss it. She laughed and said “no, you already got my number.” And then I told her, “I’m greedy” and pointed again. But no go. Then I left that girl.

Anyone else wonder how Scrooge McDuck was able to swim through dense coins?

I had my back to the bar. There are 3 girls getting drinks and hugging each other. A bit later when the girls settle down, I open the girl on my right saying: “You three look like really good friends.” I said that in Chinese: b/c I opened one of the girls earlier and asked if she was Chinese: her 2 friends didn’t look Chinese. Turns out she was Chinese, but she failed to say that her friends were Korean.

Anyway the interaction was going better than I thought. The girl was a bit of an air-head. But we both started side-to-side with our backs to the bar and eventually ended with our bodies facing directly at each other, with our faces close to each other. I try to get her number, but she says she forgot her cellphone at home, and doesn’t remember her own number. No good. I thought about telling her to ask her friends what her phone number was, but if I asked at that point I think I would come off as needy. So I decided to hold off, and ask later.

Now this is where it got interesting. Two of their Korean guy friends come in. And just suck her attention away from me. Now that I think about it, I can see two distinct stages in body language.

1– She goes from facing me to a more triangular position: Me, Her, and Guy Friend.

2 – Her back is to me. My back is to the bar. And the two guys and the three girls (at the bar side) form a tight circle.

I'm practicing for some kind of Asia themed
College Event! -Random Asian Dude

Those guys came out of nowhere. I had the thought that they were just going to say hello and move along. Wrong. WRONG. They didn’t introduce themselves to me, and I didn’t introduce myself to them. I was totally ignored by them and a bit baffled. One of the guys was very grabby, holdy with the girl I was talking to. They were trying to take the girls to go eat something. He brought out his wallet and kept showing this restaurant business card to her. Eventually she relented and everyone left.

I’m guessing they were the stereotypical LA(West Coast) Korean guys who are more frat like then gangsterish. I do not like frat guys. I’m guessing I associate them with cool kids/insiders and I was never an insider. So I’m resentful.

My thoughts:

It was holiday season in China. So the clubs were practically empty. It went from being like a rush hour Asia subway to a large conference room with a few people in it. Just when I got used to talking in such a crowded venue, Shanghai pulls this on me. It actually threw me for a bit. Felt like I had an audience in whatever I did. But probably all in my mind.

Girls get hit on by lots of creepy/old/ugly guys. I was sitting next to 4 Chinese girls. At the very end was the cutest one. And right next to her was this middle-aged pudgy Chinese guy getting close, rubbing his body onto hers, and trying to talk to her. I was shocked. What the hell was that guy doing? The girl while looking very irritated about the guy did nothing. Just stood there and kept playing the dice game with her friend. I later asked her friend about it, as the girl on the end didn’t speak any English. Does it happen a lot? I don’t know. They told me it does. This kind of behavior would make any girl jaded against guys.

Thought about posting a creepy guy,
but I was grossed out by the pictures.

In the same evening, I saw another middle aged Chinese guy physically pull (hard) a HB Chinese girl several times towards him. He would literally get off his chair, approach the girl, grab her arm, and try to drag her back with him. He did this about 2-3 times before giving up. I’m surprised none of the guys with the girl got involved or tried to stop the guy from bothering her. I’m guessing he was looking for a prostitute. The then proceeded to bring over a staff girl (event managerish type) bought her a drink, made her drink that. Of course after the drink, the girl quickly went on her way. Finally the guy goes outside brings back a Thai hooker gets her to sit down and drink, but she leaves. I guess the price was too high for the guy, whatever.

I remember watching this all and taking it in: thinking will I turn out to be like this in 20 years? It was sobering/worrying/sad. Probably nothing to serious that I have to worry about. But the bigger question I had was that are girls seeing me in the same light, when I try to fish at the bar?

FR #5 Chinese Holidays=Me going out a lot.

2010-08-12T12:00:00.004+08:00

FR covering a Random Week during Chinese Holidays.

Warning! This is a damn loooooooong post. It cover's a week full of my interactions. You have been warned.

Let me say this was an awful weekend for going out. I’m guessing that b/c of the Chinese holiday coming up. A lot of the rich/pretty/girls with boyfriends/non-Shanghainese girls left Shanghai. Leaving the non-pretty girls(unless they are hookers/hired girls) at the bars/clubs. Popular clubs were noticeably empty. About 60-70% of what the usual population would be. Unfortunately only the girls left. There were still a loooooot of guys.

Jazz Bar – Ladies Night

I tried to get a girl to meet me for some drinks after she went to ladies night (free champagne for girls). But she convinced me to meet her there with her girl friend.

She tried to push her friend onto me. But her friend was not pretty at all. I talked with the both of them. Tried to see if I can the girl more attracted to me (She has a BF), but after a while I figured that it wasn’t going anywhere.

This week has shown a marked lack of hot girls. L

All the girls in this place were old. Like late 20’s and up. And they were not hot.

But I came out all this way. So I decided to approach some of the “hotter” ones.

The first girl was part of a group of 4 girls. I was standing in a cramped place watching the live show. And I asked the girl to move so I could stand in a more comfortable place.

She didn’t really seem to understand. So I physically pointed at the cramped place and her place. And she finally got the idea.

I noticed that a late 30’s unattractive Salary man was trying to hit on her friend. I asked her if she knew those guys. She said no.

Stop talking for a bit. And she asks me if I am Korean? And I reply “Why do you like Koreans?” She says: “Yeah, kind of.”

The conversation peters out. And I point out the earlier guy and say that he likes her friend.

She replies “I know.” After a bit they leave, I think because of the other guy hitting on her friend. Wasn’t cute/interesting enough to pursue.

Next girl I approach I talk about her phone the nokia E71. Talk about that for a few minutes. And her BF(?) at the bar comes to get her.

Chinese Club

Post at the bar. Tap a girl in white as she’s moving along. Got ignored.

Talk to some guy about his blackberry curve 8900. We fluff talk and get to know each other. Pretty friendly guy

See a girl watching the live music in the club. I ask about the band. She has no clue what I’m talking about. Her English is super poor. I try to talk to her some more. And the good thing is that she takes the time to listen. And somehow she misheard me and got offended because she thought I was asking her if she worked there.

I clear up the issue. And tease her that she is weird. She calls me weird. Conversation dies out b/c we both were getting tired of the language issue. Could not be bothered about it.

Day Time at a Bank

I open a girl by asking her: “What is that guy fighting about?” There was this Chinese guy arguing with the bank workers. She told me she didn’t know.

I ask her if she’s going on a trip. (We are sitting down, waiting for the Chinese guy to stop arguing, in the Currency exchange line.) We talk about her upcoming trip and her work. She asks about me.

Eventually I tell her to give me her phone. It’s an E71 and I wanted to know about it. Tell her to send me a message with the name of the website where she got it. She complies and then asks for my name to add to her contact book. So I think “wow” this is going smoothly. Her turn comes up and after she finishes, I motion her to come over and she does.

Tommy Lee Jones does not approve..

I ask her what she’s doing tonight. She tells me work. I ask her about after. And she says she has dinner with a girl friend. And then I tell her to come out for some drinks with me after that. She has a look of “aha” on her face and smiles/shakes her head and leaves. I’m pretty sure I lost a lot of value as I came off needy, trying to get her to come meet me. But also she thinks that the only reason I talked to her was to get her on a date.

Thursday night - Trendy Bar

I was so frustrated after my date (with the rude girl in FR #4) so I headed to a trendy foreigner bar. The hottest place on Thursday night. Unfortunately, it was populated by either ugly twenty year olds or ugly middle-aged Chinese and white women. Sigh.

I approached two groups that night.

The first girl I approached was wearing an awesome green dress. So I opened her by telling her, “You have a great dress.” Too bad she looked 40 and I couldn’t tell that until I was close enough to talk to her.

She doesn’t speak a lot of English. So she actually fluff talks me in Chinese. I wasn’t very interested in her, so I made an excuse and went off.

I noticed another girl going back and forth from her seat, and watching people. So I ask her: “Why do you keep coming back and forth?” She tells me that her table is in a secluded room. She didn’t hook, but she wasn’t very nice/or pretty so I had no inclination to keep trying.

So disappointed by the lack of hot girls in the bar, that I went to a cheap dive bar next to my house.

Dive Bar

The only open group I saw was in another room. Three girls by themselves. The hottest girl was sitting with her back to the wall, with an open space next to her. I correctly figured(wussed out in sitting there) that she’s the one with a boyfriend.

So I grab a seat next to the girls opposite of the girl with the BF.

I open them with: “Hey, when did they change out all the seats and tables?” The girl on the left of me was doing the shy thing. The one on my right asked me about what I was talking about.

I explained that the furniture was different. And for some reason she talked to me like I was being retarded, and that the seats were always like that. Finally she tells me that it’s her first time they were there. And I thought to myself I’m talking to an idiot. I tease her about being so airheaded and how she can say that it’s the same when it’s her first time here.

Take it easy on the drinks there...

I move on to what they think of the place. Because this dive bar is super dirty. It’s not a place high status girls like to go to. They kind of waffle saying it’s okay, but I can clearly tell they are a bit unpleased with the place. But she tells me she is there b/c her pretty friend’s BF invited them there.

I’m pretty sure they were interested in me. B/c when I stopped talking after maybe about 10 seconds of silence she would ask me questions. I’m not really into ugly girls so I got out of there.

Friday Night – Club

Surrounded by ugly girls. I ended up talking to 2-3 guys, through out the night. Unfortunately when the rare cute girl would pass by, those same guys would keep trying to talk to me, and thus I would lose my chance to approach.

I had two okay interactions that night. Not many girls there I wanted to talk to.

Posted at bar. Got ignored when she went walking past.

Opened a girl/guy pair: Asked why only the girl had a drink, but the guy had none. Ended up just being friendly and talking with guy.

Opened another girl on her dress. It was a horrible dress looked like she was dressing like a cow. I don’t think she heard that I thought it looked like a cow. And instead took it as a compliment. Got tired of language barrier and she left.

Started a conversation with a girl regarding her drink. Wasn’t really into the conversation and left.

One I opened when I was at the bar. It was a group of three girls. One of them had a birthday. I originally opened this girl on her beautiful dress. But I don’t think she could speak English because she smiled back at me, but politely declined to interact with me. I talked to her friend about drinking wine. B/c I thought it was unusual. I don’t usually see too many people at clubs drinking wine. It wasn’t a very dynamic conversation. But because we were right by each other. We ended up talking to each other once the conversation died. Eventually the girls left to go dance.

Asked a girl on the stairs who was holding a wine bottle. Asked her why so many people were drinking wine. We talked and her two friends end up coming down too. I had the distinct feeling they were trying to set me up with her friend. I engaged the friends. I think they were a bit drunk as what they said had no relevance to what I said. Hahah. Anyway those two friends leave and point me to which area they will be in and leave. With just me and the girl, we fluff some more. And I tell her I have to go find my friend and ask her how I can find her again. She thinks for a few seconds, and I tell her to give me her phone. She says she left it at home. And I say: “alright I’ll find you later.”

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find her later. But no big loss.

My best interaction was after I finished up and went to go eat a late snack at a 24 hour place. After my friends and I finished eating, two girls walk in and sits at a booth. After a few minutes I tell my friend I’m going to talk to them. I sit next to the girl I’m interested in, and talk her friend. Asking her if she speaks English. And she replies: “A little bit.” So I’m trying to explain, but the waiter comes in wanting their order. It takes them like 3 minutes to order, they ordered a lot. So I’m non-involved in this point and just relax and lean back. After they finished ordering I start to talk again. Explaining that my friend is a bit shy, but likes her. So I ask what she thinks of my friend.

She’s visibly pleased and asks her which friend. And I say the one without glasses and for her to wave at him. Which she does. A minute later my friend comes in and talks to her.

Man, I miss my Chicken Fried Steak!

At this point I’m free to talk to the girl I like. The girl and I introduce ourselves. We talk about the places we’ve been to that night. And we talk about what we do in our lives. At one point her friend asks her what my name is. And she can’t remember. So I introduce myself again, and then tease my target about forgetting my name. I write my name on a paper in front of her. And get her to write her name on a paper in front of me. I get her number her saying she’s an interesting person.

Later on I find out she has a dog. And ask her to show me a picture of the dog on her phone. She does and I use it as excuse to get close to her. But unusually this girl has a separate phone, and I’m kicking myself for getting the wrong cellphone number.

We looked at pictures together until their food came, and then me and my friend left.

Saturday Night - Another Club

Really remember only three interactions. Pretty empty.

Opened on Genuine Direct. She’s quite pleased. The conversation was quite standard. And she gets really close to me while we are talking. She touches me and I’m a bit worried(thinking what does she want from me?). Grabbing my neck and pulling it down towards her while we are talking. Touching my arms and chest. She introduces me to two of her friends. She mentions that I must “make sports everyday.” Which I thought meant that she really liked me. Lol. She also has a dog too, and I make her show me pictures.

This place has great
food!

I tease her, have fun. I move her all the way out of the club, to a Lawson convenience store, and then to another club right next door. When we are walking, she grabs and holds my arm. Originally tried to get her to go some where far, but she wasn’t going for it. She mentions that her friend has her money. So she has no money. I think that she wanted to use me to buy her drinks.

Later on in the night I see her dancing/drinking at a table full of middle aged salary men with her friends.

The second one was pretty standard. The only thing was that she was a bit ADD wanting to dance. Talked to her for about 5 minutes, and then her and her friend went home.

Last group I talked to was a trio: 2 girls and 1 guy. Used a genuine direct, but wasn’t sure if she understood English. B/c about 7 seconds later she is smiling/flushed/embarrassed, and held up her hand and shook her head. Could be the guy might have been her BF. The guy was pretty amused that I came up to her and talked to her.

Thoughts:

It was pretty damn empty this weekend. The hot girls better come back next weekend. I don’t like talking to ugly chicks.

I don’t know why but I am starting to enjoy going out more. Nothing really has changed. Maybe not being pushed around by the damn crowds is improving my mood. Or my subconscious is self-rationalizing my behavior: “Why would I go out if I didn’t enjoy it? Therefore I must enjoy it.”

Starting to say that I make hamburgers for a living. But I think my delivery must be off b/c girls believe it. Lol.

Sticking Points:

I NEED to figure out a way to remember more of my dialogue.

I am having trouble letting go and just relaxing. I still care what other people think about me. And I don’t want to seem ADD. Sometimes my mind blanks out. Maybe I’m stressing too much?

Internally I’m thinking I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I want to get this girl attracted to me.

FR #4 Girl was pretty rude on our date!

2010-08-11T19:34:00.000+08:00

FR Thursday Night Day 2

At 9:00 I arrange to meet the girl from the club that told me to find her friends (in FR #1 Approach #7).

I invited her out for coffee and told her to meet me at an intersection close to my house.

At about 9:10 I call her and see where she is. She tells me she’s somewhere in the area, and to come to her. By some flower shop. I have no fucking clue where it is, and after going back and forth with her, she finally agrees to come to where I am.

Risk is such a fun game!

I try to take her to the venue I want to go to. But she insists on going to a favorite joint of hers. Already I can feel the red flags coming up. So I agree and she takes me to this small clothes shop that her friend runs.

She introduces me to her guy friend and a girl friend. Then we head off to this board game café. She apparently comes here quite often: 2-3 times a week. She says “hello” to a group of Chinese and we head off to our table. I sit on the side of her. And we take a few minutes to order some drinks, we talk.

But through the whole time I am there she gets distracted by SMS messages on her phone.

10 minutes in the café later, the two people I met earlier come and sit down opposite of us.

We small talk for about 5 minutes. And then those 3 converse in Shanghainese, pretty much leaving me out of the conversation for about an hour. With brief interactions from my girl in English.

Another Shanghainese friend/guy comes in and sits next to us. After a while my girl, and the new guy get up and go to the bathroom together. Which is very nearby. And I can hear them talking and laughing for about 5 minutes. They come back and go downstairs for 10 minutes, and she comes back with a bag of Swarovski accessories. I ask her about it b/c it was so random.

Free drinks = awesome?
Well most times... haha

Needless to say being left out/minimized was very frustrating and rude to me. I invited her out and she co-opted my day two. I tried to get her go to a different bar with me, and she agreed. But after waiting some more I realized it would take more time than I was willing to put in: I said “Fuck it” and left. At that time my girl apologized to me. I didn’t believe her though. I was actually so frustrated and left to go to another place, so I could meet more girls.

The only good thing about this meeting was the free drinks they got me.

Go to FR #1

Ktown Cowboys - Sounds like a mini Pick-Up guide

2010-08-10T12:00:00.001+08:00

Found this video on youtube. It's about a twinkie Korean-American who moves from Virginia to L.A.'s Ktown (Korea Town). I thought it was pretty fun, well made, and related to pick-up. They broke it up into 8 episodes + bonus ep on youtube.

More info. can be found on their site: http://www.ktowncowboys.com/

FR #3 Day 2 w/ girl who freaked me out a bit...

2010-08-09T19:19:00.000+08:00

FR #3

I arranged to meet a girl that I got a quick kiss from at a club. She meets me at an intersection near my home.

Which, I realize later, was a huge investment on her part. She looked it up on google maps, walked 20 minutes through dark streets, despite her incompetence with directions.

We arranged to meet at 9pm, but she gets there at 9:20. Anyway I meet up with her and I tease her about being late and how she can make up for it. Next I take her to the dvd store, because I needed to pick up a DVD (The Secret).

That done, we head off to a Belgian coffee/chocolate shop. I tell her to cover the taxi fare, as I’ll get the drinks and she agrees.

We order. I pay. I sit her down on a bench and I choose to sit next to her, instead of opposite of her. She was confused for a few seconds I could tell from her reaction. Then for the next hour we talk. I mostly used my screening/qualifying as a conversational source. I learned how to screen/qualify from the AsianRake’s site:

http://www.doctorasianrake.com/2008/03/believability-the-key-to-elite-game/

But it was easy to talk with her as she was contributing as well.

She showed me pictures on her cellphone, and she drew me an imaginary map of her hometown.

In the conversation, I also mentioned that we could also watch the dvd I just bought, and show her photos I took of my home and vacation times.

So after about an hour I told her lets go look at my pictures. She agreed and we took a cab back.

I have small dogs, and they barked at her. Then I hurried her into my room. I sat down and started showing her the pictures. I told her to sit on my lap but she would rather sit on my bed.

Definitely not a fun to movie
to watch with a girl!

That done I said I wanted to make sure my new dvd worked. So I popped it in and turned off the light. I got on the bed, she got on the bed. It was not a “fun” movie. So I started talking to her.

After a while I told her “you don’t know how hard I’m trying not to kiss you.” Stole that line from an article I read on AR’s site. I think it was on an article about “projecting a sexual vibe.” Go google it.

And she told me “we are just friends”. At this point I was pretty fucking frustrated at being “let just be friends’ed” again. But a few minutes later I just stroked her chin and kissed her. She gave in.

She asks me why I would like her. That guys all say nice things to girls so they can sleep with them. I respond by reiterating my screening I did with her.

I got her to straddle me, and make out with me.

Then she told me she was a virgin and that she was saving it for someone special. And I was like “FUCK” again. She also said that she wanted to be friends first and get to know me better. At which point I responded: “what do you think I was doing in the café?” Then I told her to ask me anything. But she couldn’t think of anything. We talk about previous relationships. She had 3 boyfriends.

However I promised I wouldn’t try to have sex with her that night. And we made out some more. After doing that for a while. I told her to give me a handjob and she complied but it was a wimpy one.

Then it started getting weird. She started sobbing. Saying she was a whore. B/c she had never done this so fast with a guy before. So for the next 10 minutes I hugged and comforted her. Telling her she wasn’t a slut.

Make out some more.

Took her home, b/c I promised I would. Made out some more on the way back to her dorm. Told her to SMS me later on, b/c she wanted to think about what we could do together.

Realizations:

The impact of what I have accomplished this night has not yet impacted me.

My screening/qualifying is/isn’t working?

“Let’s just be friends” isn’t always “Let’s just be friends.”

I still have to work at deprogramming myself full of the shit society has imputed into me. I felt a little bad/dirty afterwards. And I know I shouldn’t.

If I can do it once, I can do it again.

FR #2 Saturday - Club

2010-08-07T13:14:00.002+08:00

Too damn hot here in China!
Fucking Santa taunting me with his
tropical drink...

Man it must be fucking Christmas in August, here I am posting again so soon. Looking back, my FR's I wrote when I first started are so shitty compared to the ones I write now.

I guess my mind was too preoccupied just going out at all. My first club/bar experiences really all started in China. What's it like in all those Western countries where there are so few hot Asians? :P

FR #2

On Saturday I get to the club around 12. Go to Lawson’s (a convenience store chain in Asia) looking for some Red Bull. Unfortunately they were out, however in the process met and talked to an interesting Chinese guy.

Get inside and post up at the bar. I didn’t get a chance to write down my interactions for this night, so my recollection of things that went on is sketchy.

Approach 1:

I talk to this girl next to me at the bar, and we fluff talk. She is friendly, but I find out that she works in the Service industry, is Singaporean, and doesn’t go out to clubs very often, and it’s her friends’ birthday. Her two friends are not that close but one of them takes our picture together, to the embarrassment of the Singaporean. I feel that the interaction is a bit stale and that I am losing her attention, so I eject.

Approach 2:

The next interaction I remember, is reopening a girl I met yesterday. I talk to her for a bit and she goes away. But I see her friend just standing there and I open the friend by asking how she knows the previous girl. There is a language barrier, but I get her number anyway. I couldn’t think of anything, so I left.

Approach 3:

I use a genuine direct opener on a girl in a 3 mixed group: BF/GF and her. She takes it well but she has to leave really quickly and won’t give me her cellphone.

Approach 4:

Again another genuine direct in a group of 2 girls. Had her interest for about 10 seconds then she gets tired of trying to communicate and ignores me. I ask her friend about her behavior and she starts ignoring me too.

Approach 5:

I approach 2 Korean girls. And open one girl with a genuine direct but she speaks no English. But her friend is interested and me, and does all the talking. The friend actually asks for my number, and they leave to go to the bathroom. I get a text later on from the girl.

Thoughts:

I was a lot more relaxed compared to my last time out. Going out alone isn’t the end of the world.

I approached a lot. But I must be giving off a hobo stench/vibe because a lot of times girls will ignore me, or give me the hand, or listen for a few seconds and then give me the hand(70% of my approaches).

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me. However the frustrations of opening badly actually makes me want to go out and practice even more.

My head was a bit numb and I didn’t get to practice being spontaneous.

After getting hit around by “rejections”, I was feeling pretty shitty. I wasn’t thinking anything overtly negative, just felt dulled.

What is holding me back? I think I’m afraid to lose control of myself and that’s preventing me from relaxing.